I do not suppose anyone will say of Lord BIRKENHEAD, as a celebrated judge is reported to have said of one of his predecessors, "'Ere comes that 'oly 'umbug 'umming 'is 'orrid 'ymns;" but he is evidently a student of hymnology, for he referred to the Government victory as this "scanty triumph" and for a long time did not challenge any more divisions. In the House of Commons an attack upon the new liquor regulations--"pieces of gross impertinence" according to Mr. MACQUISTEN--found no favour with the PRIME MINISTER. Mr. MCCURDY announced that he had reduced the price of wheat to the millers and hoped that "in a few weeks" the consumer might begin to receive the benefit. The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER excused the delay in publishing the Economy Committee's reports on the ground that the MINISTER OF MUNITIONS was "at sea," and elicited the inevitable gibe that he was not the only one. Sir ERIC GEDDES, with a judicious compliment to the motorists for setting "an extraordinary example of voluntary taxation," got a Second Reading for his Roads Bill; and Sir GORDON HEWART with some difficulty induced the House to accept his assurance that the Official Secrets Bill was meant for the discomfiture of spies and not the harassing of honest journalists. * * * * * [Illustration: _Golfer._ "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WORSE PLAYER?" [No answer.] "I SAID, 'HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WORSE PLAYER?'" _Aged Caddie._ "I HEERD YE VERRA WEEL THE FURRST TIME. I WAS JEST THENKIN' ABOOT IT."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Margaret_ (_not satisfied with the parental explanation of the recent disappearance of a pet rabbit_). "MUMMY, IS--IS _THIS_ GLADYS?"] * * * * * TO A CLERICAL GOLFING FRIEND. Fine is your temper as your hand-forged iron! Even should you hack the ball from out the spherical, Or find it near the pin with lumps of mire on, Your language is not otherwise than clerical. Once only, when your toe received the niblick, The word I saw your lips frame was not biblic. Upon the links as perfect in address As in the pulpit, just as you are seen In life to play according to the Book, So too, mid all the hazards of the green, You teach us by example not to press And how to shun the faults of slice and hook. Treating the ball as if it had a soul, Imparting safe direction, you determine How best it may keep up its given _role_; Indeed your daily round's a model sermon. So, till life's course is traversed, I'll await Your well-timed counsel. If I have you by me I'll laugh at all the baffling strokes of Fate And lay the bogie of Despair a stymie. * * * * * TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGONE.