A Denver newspaper points out that the "Wild West bandit" has died out. Our own impression was that he had got a job as a waiter in London. * * * Things are settling down in America. A news report states that WILLARD MACK, the actor, has only been divorced three times. * * * "We have an innate modesty about advertising ourselves," said Sir ROBERT HORNE at the International Advertising Exhibition. A certain colleague of his in the Ministry is reported to have said that Sir ROBERT can speak for himself in future. * * * We understand that the idea of producing a filmed version of Mrs. ASQUITH'S Diary has been shelved for the present, owing to the difficulty of procuring actors for the more dangerously acrobatic incidents. * * * An old lady writes to us with reference to wild-cat taxation that she has always advocated it, but that she has understood that the difficulty was to determine the ownership of these unfortunate vagrants. * * * The new houses when ready, says a North of England Town Clerk, will only be let to those people who are married. We have felt all along that there was some catch about Dr. ADDISON'S housing scheme. * * * To a discreditable alien source has been traced the scandalous rumour that the disappearance of the summit of Mont Blanc is due to certain admirers of Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, who wished to present their hero with something in the nature of a permanent peroration. * * * As a partial remedy for the overcrowding at Oxford, it is suggested that the University should come into line with Battersea by making a rule that lost causes will not be kept longer than three days before being destroyed. * * * "I was the anonymous person who walked down Harley Street and counted the number of open windows," confesses Sir ST. CLAIR THOMSON, M.D. So now we can concentrate on JUNIUS and the Man in the Iron Mask. * * * Motorists are becoming much more polite, we read. They now catch pedestrians sideways, instead of full on. * * * According to an official of the R.S.P.C.A., as _Punch_ informed us last week, dogs do not possess suicidal tendencies. Yet the other day we saw an over-fed poodle deliberately loitering outside a sausage factory. * * * "The number of curates who seem to be able to find plenty of time for golf is most surprising," writes a correspondent. We suppose the majority of them employ vicars. * * * Spanish toreadors are on strike for a higher wage. There is talk, we understand, of a six bull week. * * * * * [Illustration: "WHAT IS YOUR LITTLE BROTHER CRYING ABOUT?" "OH, 'IM--'E'S A REG'LAR PESSIMIST, 'E IS."] * * * * * THE DARK AGES. (_Being reflections on the pre-press period._)