"They done as they were told, and away goes old Hosea for the shore, followed by the other gigs loaded that deep they could hardly swim. Seein' they hadn't left us nothin' but the bare bones we pulled in ourselves shortly after, and my dear life what a sight we did behold! Fellows runnin' about in the fog on the beach, for all the world like shadows on a blind, cursin', shoutin', fightin', tumblin' over each other, huntin' high and low, and in the middle of 'em all old Hosea crying out for his bar'l o' beef like a wumman after her first-born. Somebody'd stole it! Mercy me! we mainlanders lay on our oars and laughed till the tears rolled out of us in streams." "Who did steal it? Do you know?" I asked. Billy John nodded. "I do, Sir. Why, great Susan, o' course. They'd forgotten she, livin' right upon the beach--wan o' their own breed. Susan stalked en through the fog an' had en locked in her own house before they could turn round. And many a full meal we poor honest mainlanders had off it, Sir, take it from me." PATLANDER. * * * * * =Our Cynical Municipalities.= "Schemes for the relief of the unemployed at ---- include the extension of the cemetery." _Daily Paper._ * * * * * "The constable went to the warehouse doorway and found two men, who, when asked to account for their movements, suddenly bolted in different directions, pursued by the constable."--_Welsh Paper._ A worthy colleague of the Irish policeman who in a somewhat similar dilemma "surrounded the crowd." * * * * * VIGNETTES OF SCOTTISH SPORT. (_By a Peckham Highlander._)