"NO. YOUR SECOND ONE WAS IN ALL RIGHT, I THINK. FIFTEEN-LOVE."] [Illustration: "BUT I'M ALMOST SURE IT WAS NOT. LOVE-FIFTEEN." "NO, REALLY, I'M PRACTICALLY CERTAIN IT WAS IN. FIFTEEN-LOVE."] [Illustration: "IT LOOKED MILES OUT TO ME. LOVE-FIFTEEN." "WELL, YOU WERE WRONG, THAT'S ALL. FIFTEEN-LOVE."] [Illustration: "BUT, MY DEAR GOOD FELLOW, I KNOW I'M RIGHT. LOVE-FIFTEEN." "MY VERY GOOD IDIOT, YOU AREN'T. FIFTEEN-LOVE."] [Illustration: "YOU PIG-HEADED BEAST, I AM. LOVE-FIFTEEN." "YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE NOT. FIFTEEN-LOVE."] [Illustration: "WELL, CALL IT A LET."] * * * * * [Illustration: THE NEW RIVER "BELLE." _Society Gossip Note._ "I also saw the Honourable Pamela Puntah, attended by a gorgeous creation in tangerine orange and cornflower blue, with hat and handkerchief to match." [It was remarked that at Henley the men's river attire quite outshone the ladies'.]] * * * * * WORD CHAINS. Sheila Davies and her brother had cycled over to play tennis. They sat, with John and myself, on the steps and watched the rain falling. "As a matter of general interest," said Arthur Davies to me, "when a man invites his friends and neighbours over to play tennis and it pours with rain all the time, what is the correct thing for him to do?" "As a matter of general interest," I answered, "the good host will send the ladies to play the piano, if any, and to talk scandal, whether there is any or not. He will himself conduct the men of the party to the billiard-room or the smoking-room and offer them cigarettes and whisky--if any." "Ah," said Davies, "then it isn't usual just to keep them sitting miserably on the steps watching the net float away?" John, on whose steps we were sitting, felt the need of speech. "I have often wondered," he said, turning to Miss Davies, "how your brother ever got into such a nice family as yours. How do you keep so cheerful with it always about?" "One gets used to it in time," said Miss Davies. "I suppose so," said John. "After all, we have the same sort of family disaster in Alan, but we manage to bear up." Davies rose. "You and I don't seem popular here," he said to me. "Will you conduct me to the billiard-room or the smoking-room? I am in need of a wash." "As a matter of general interest," said John to Miss Davies, "is it the correct thing to wash _before_ setting out to visit friends, or can it be left until some hours after arrival?" Miss Davies sighed heavily. "If you two are going to sit here thinking of clever remarks to make about each other I shall go home. For goodness' sake let's pretend we are enjoying ourselves." "I _am_ enjoying myself," said John plaintively; "I've been wanting to say what I really think of your brother for years." "Well, don't do it now. Things are miserable enough without having discussions on Arthur. Let's all have a game at something, shall we?" "Splendid idea," said her brother. "What about tennis?"