A very satisfactory conclusion. I got Geraldine; Geraldine got her full deserts--me; and if George had the misfortune to sit on the bag in the taxi, what matter? Geraldine had acquiesced; after that who cared what Geraldine's mother did, said, thought or wore? * * * * * [Illustration: _Small Boy_. "WHO'S THAT FAT MAN, DAD?" _Dad_. "DON'T KNOW. HE LOOKS LIKE A PROFITEER." _Small Boy_. "DON'T YOU THINK HE MUST BE ONE OF THE EXCESS PROFITEERS?"] * * * * * "Lady Clerk wanted for office work, with an engineering firm, a few miles out of Leeds; also able to cook and serve a luncheon for the principals."--_Yorkshire Paper._ If you want a cook nowadays you must employ a little diplomacy. * * * * * "During a discussion on over-crowded motor 'buses a member declared that on one occasion 110 persons were found 'clinging like bees' to a car certified to hold 0."--_Provincial Paper._ Some of these might have been accommodated in the bonnet. * * * * * "In Nepal His Highness shot what is believed to be the record tigress. She was a most magnificent specimen, with a total length of 9 feet 7 inches--her body alone measuring 9 feet 5 inches."--_Indian Paper._ The record, of course, consisted in the brevity of her two-inch tail. * * * * * From Smith Minor's Scripture-paper: "Abraham was the man who was very keen to go into the land of Israel but he did not obey the word of the Lord, and the Lord's punishment to him was to forbid him to go into this land. There he sat on the heights of Abraham looking down on this land." And crying "Wolfe, Wolfe!" * * * * * GOLDWIRE AND POPPYSEED. (_A Chinese Poem._) I make a bow; and then I seize my brush (or pen) And paint in hues enamel-bright Scenes of Cathay for your delight. Two buzzards by a stream, So still that they might seem Part of a carving wrought in bone To decorate a royal throne. Two lovers by a mill, A picture sweeter still: Will Chen-ki-Tong in this pursuit Evade Pa-pa's avenging boot? Lotus and mirror-lake AEsthetic contact make; No interfering dragon wags His tail across their travelling bags. Blue terraces of jade; Sherbet and lemonade Regale the overloaded guests; They loose the buttons on their chests. Birds'-nests and shark-fin soup: I join the festive group; My simple spirit merely begs A brace of fifteenth-century eggs. Pa-pa with heavy whip Waits near the laden ship. The cloud that hides the ivory moon Is singularly opportune. Clamour of gilded gongs And shout of wedding songs. I do not fail to notice that The ophicleides are playing flat.