The United States Government has decided to recognise the present Mexican Government. Mexican bandits say they had better take a good look at them while there is yet time. * * * A Prohibitionist asserts that Scotland will be dry in five years. Our own feeling is that these end-of-the-world prognostications should be prohibited by law. * * * An Oxford professor has made himself the subject of a series of experiments on the effects of alcohol. Several college professors of America quite readily admit that they never thought of that one. * * * A correspondent writes to a contemporary to say that he wears a hat exactly like _The Daily Mail_ hat, and that he purchased it long before _The Daily Mail_ was started. The audacity of some people in thinking that anything happened before _The Daily Mail_ started is simply appalling. * * * Three stars have recently been discovered by an American. No, no; not those stars, but stars in the heavens. * * * "Whilst returning to camp one night I walked right into a herd of elephants," states a well-known explorer in his memoirs. We have always maintained that all wild animals above the size of a rabbit should carry two head-lights and one rear-light whilst travelling after dark. * * * A small island was advertised for sale last week. Just the sort of thing for a bad sailor to take with him when crossing the Channel on a rough day. * * * "Everyone knows," a writer in _The Daily Mail_ declares, "that electric light in the poultry-house results in more eggs." There may be more of them but they never have the real actinic taste of the natural egg. * * * An American inventor has devised a scheme for lassoing enemy submarines. This is a decided improvement on the method of just sticking a pin into them as they whizz by. * * * Since the talk of Prohibition in Scotland, we are informed that one concert singer began the chorus of the famous Scottish ballad by singing "O ye'll tak the dry road." * * * * * [Illustration: _Mrs. Jones_. "YOU'D SEE IN THE PAPERS, JOHN, ABOUT THE AGITATION IN FAVOUR OF THE WIFE GOVERNING THE HOME." _Mr. Jones_. "WELL, CARRY ON, DEAR."] * * * * * From an article on "Bullies at the Bar":-- "He who had read his 'Pickwick'--and who has not?--will never forget the trial scene where poor, innocent Mr. Pickwick is as wax in the hands of the cross-examiner." _Provincial Paper_. We regret to say that, in our edition, _Mr. Serjeant Snubbin_ omitted to put his client in the witness-box, and consequently _Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz_ never had a chance of showing what he could do with him. * * * * * =BEFORE THE CENOTAPH.= NOVEMBER 11TH, 1920.