Three days later Brackley slapped me on the back in our club. "What are you doing here?" I said. "Don't tell me the snipe have gone on strike." "All your fault," he grumbled. "About half-an-hour after I got your infernal postcard six outsize Republican soldiers called on me and gave me just ten minutes to get a car and drive to the station. I told them what a silly fool you were and that it was one of your wretched jokes; but you can't expect an Irishman to see a joke. I tried to explain it; I said that you referred to my exploits as a sniper; and they replied that sniping was their department and nobody else's. "So I decided to come home and arrange for some shooting in a place where there's a bit of peace. I'm thinking of going after the ongdu antelopes in Somaliland. You can't spare three months, can you?" "Why didn't you face it out?" I said, knowing that Brackley had spent four years and two months of his life shooting Huns. "Not worth while. I could have had a guard, of course. But you can't expect decent snipe-shooting when there's a lot of promiscuous firing going on in the district. The snipe is a peculiarly nervous bird, you know." * * * * * [Illustration: HUMOROUS DRAMA: AN UNREHEARSED DIVERSION.] * * * * * [Illustration: _Porter._ "DO YOU WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ONE ANOTHER, OR VICE-VERSA?"] * * * * * A FOOTNOTE TO THE "BAB BALLADS." [The Vice-Chairman of No. 1 Committee of the League of Nations, dealing with general organisation, is Mr. WELLINGTON KOO, the distinguished Chinese diplomatist.] Serene and Celestial Sage, How well you revive and renew The delights of an age when good "Bab" was the rage-- Eminent WELLINGTON KOO! For I feel, though I may be a fool, You were reared in remote Rum-ti-Foo, Maybe suffered at school its episcopal rule-- Tolerant WELLINGTON KOO. Next I see you adorning the scene In the city of fair Titipu, Garbed in green and in gold, very fine to behold-- Sumptuous WELLINGTON KOO. Then you probably met _Captain Reece_ And all his affectionate crew, Who knew no decrease of their comfort and peace-- Nautical WELLINGTON KOO. _Clonglocketty Angus McClan_ I fear was withheld from your view; That unfortunate man was not fated to scan Fortunate WELLINGTON KOO. But my reason instinctively tells It was you who contrived to imbue With his knowledge of spells _John Wellington Wells_-- Magical WELLINGTON KOO. "Morality, heavenly link," I'm sure you will never taboo, Though to it I don't think you'll "eternally drink"-- Temperate WELLINGTON KOO. It is rather malicious, I own, To play with a name that is true, But I hope you'll condone my irreverent tone-- Generous WELLINGTON KOO. * * * * * "ROYAL EXILES.