Balls made of newspapers soaked in oil are said to be a good substitute for coal. It seems as if newspapers are determined to get a good circulation somehow. * * * Cars that run into four figures were to be seen at many stands at the recent Motor Show. In the ordinary way motor-cars run into as many figures as get in their way. * * * It appears that the man who was knocked down in Charing Cross Road by a motor-scooter was one of the middle class, and so could not afford to have it done properly by a motor-car. * * * It is rumoured that a Radical paper is about to offer a prize of one hundred pounds for the best design for a _Daily Mail_ halo. * * * A man charged at the Guildhall admitted that he had been convicted sixty-seven times. Indeed it is understood that he has only to say "Season" to be admitted to any police-court. * * * "Pussyfoot beaten," announces a headline. We hear, however, that he intends to have another try when the water-rate is not quite so high. * * * A Streatham youth has been fined ten shillings for causing a disturbance by imitating a cat at night. He said everything would have gone off well if somebody had not made a noise like a policeman. * * * "All men are cowards," declares a lady-writer in a weekly journal. Still it should be remembered that one of us married the lady who is now known as "Mrs. Grundy." * * * In describing a storm a local paper recently stated that waves seventy feet high lashed themselves to fury against the rocks. We have always been given to understand that waves never exceed fifteen feet, but we suppose everything has gone up since the War. * * * "When is the Government going to commence operations in connection with the Channel Tunnel?" asks a correspondent in a daily paper. We understand that unless the English homing rabbit, recently released at Calais, puts in an appearance on this side once again, the idea will be abandoned as impracticable. * * * * * [Illustration: "SHALL I DUST THE BRICKY-BRACK, MUM?" "NOT TO-DAY, NORAH. I DON'T THINK WE CAN AFFORD IT."] * * * * * HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIRS. "Head Laundress wanted, titled lady." _Irish Paper._ This is what results from washing dirty linen in public. * * * * * "L'AMITIE FRANCO-ANGLAISE UN TELEGRAMME DU ROI GEORGE I^ER A M. MILLERAND." _Le Figaro._ The attention of the POSTMASTER-GENERAL should be drawn to the unusually long delay in delivery. * * * * * "The Rat Catcher then said 'Look behind.' I looked behind, and there on the seat was strapped a larger cake. This contained 145 live rodents."--_Local Paper._ And now the pie with the four-and-twenty blackbirds must also take a back seat. * * * * * BELLES OF THE BALL.