A medical man advises people to use dried milk on health grounds. We have felt for some time that what was wanted was a really good waterproof milk. * * * Mr. E. A. Douse has spent forty-two years in a Cheshire post-office. It is only fair to say that the young lady behind the counter didn't notice him standing there all that time. * * * A Hertfordshire farmer, says _The Daily Mail_, has counted one hundred and twenty-three grains of wheat in one ear. Our contemporary has not yet decided what can be done about it. * * * "What is the right age for a man to marry?" asks Miss Gertie Wentworth-James. The answer is, Not yet. * * * While addressing a meeting of miners an extremist declared that the idle rich were the cause of all industrial troubles. It has since been reported that several of the audience immediately proceeded home and told themselves off in front of a mirror. * * * We understand that the miners greatly desire that Ireland will remain quiet for a short period, and thus refrain from distracting public attention from their cause. * * * "Lord Northcliffe," says _The New York World_, "is always in advance of public opinion." This is a fitting rejoinder to those who tell us that he is always behind _The Times_. * * * We cull the following from a speech of Senator Harding: "As I note the cornfields I am reminded that we still plough the land and plant and cultivate the fields in order to grow crops." We would remind the Senator that, with the Elections drawing daily nearer, the habit of making such sweeping and unguarded statements as the above is extremely dangerous. * * * We advise all readers to stick to their own particular newspaper, as a sudden change might upset the "net sales" which are being so carefully compiled at the present moment. * * * The up-to-date song-writer, says a musical journal, must strike a sad and soulful note this season. We are already engaged in writing "The Scotsman's Farewell to his Corkscrew." * * * A theatrical writer informs us that _The Laughing Husband_ will be revived this year. Not in our suburb, unless the cost of living drops considerably. * * * * * [Illustration: _Betty._ "Grandma, I Know My Twelve Times." _Grandma._ "Do You, Dear? Well, What Are Twelve Times Thirteen?" _Betty._ "Don't Be Silly, Grandma. There Isn't Such A Thing."] * * * * * "The modern Hydra, embracing innumerable adverse factors, would appear at least as many headed as the ancient, for as fast as one is more or less effectively decapitated up comes another to upset the applecart." _Financial Paper._ Classical students will, of course, remember how cleverly Hercules made use of this habit of the Hydra to secure the apples of the Hesperides. * * * * * THE DINING GLADIATOR; OR, WAR TO THE KNIFE (AND FORK). (_Being further Extracts from a certain Diary._) II.