A marriage without bridesmaids is nearly illegal. This applies, in a lesser degree, to marriages where children, dressed in Charles the First costumes, are not employed to hold up the bride's train. A mortgage is a sort of thing that causes a house to become the possession of a dishonest Agent, who is usually a Solicitor. The best way of settling a County Court summons, brought in the absence of the master of the house, is to ask the man into the dining-room, and tell him about the accomplishments of the children. This will soften his heart, and get him to prevent the Judge from sending everyone to prison. A nice Solicitor never contradicts a Lady, and therefore knows the law infinitely better than the disagreeable fogies, who are so obstinate. And, lastly, the best way to learn the real provisions of the law, is to study a modern novel by a lady Authoress. * * * * * SALUBRITIES ABROAD. "_Salubrities at Home_" (_pace_ Mr. ATLAS, who will recognise this temporary adaptation of his world-renowned title) I should say are Buxton (for most people), Bath (for some), Harrogate (for others), and,--besides a variety of North, South, East and West, too numerous to be mentioned in these notes,--Ramsgate for nearly all. "_Salubrities Abroad_" are Homburg, Aix-les-Bains, Carlsbad, &c., &c., and Royat, where I find myself again this year. "Scenes of my bath-hood, once more I behold ye!" There is "A Salubrity at Royat," which people of certain tendencies cannot easily find elsewhere. It is a cure for eminent persons of strong Conservative tendencies. Lord SALISBURY was here last year, and my friend Monsieur ONDIT, who is in everybody's confidence, tells me that his Lordship will revisit a place where the _traitement_ did him so much good. I believe he underwent the "Cherry-cure," at all events his Lordship was seen in public constantly eating them out of a paper-bag. _What did he do with the bag?_ My answer is, "he popped it." Down went the cherries, and bang went the bag and fifty centimes. Well, did not Royat effect some change in his conservatism? What has been the result? But I am not here to talk politics. * * * * * Everybody is talking of the BOULANGER-FERRY incident. This is Aug. 4, and nothing has happened. "Il n'y a pas de danger," Dit General BOULANGER; "Tout va, je crois, s'arranger, Chez FERRY, mes amis." I haven't time to proceed with this, but, so far, the idea is at any poet's disposition to continue as he pleases, my only stipulation being that the air to which it is to be sung shall be "_Marlbrook_."