Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, August 13, 1887Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, August 13, 1887
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
EXCEPTIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL OPPORTUNITY. HAUNTED CASTLE TO LET.--A Baronet,
in the North of England, who can himself stand residence in it no longer,
is anxious to meet with a suitable Tenant for his Family Mansion likely to
appreciate the mysterious horrors with which, owing to the crimes of his
ancestors in times past, it is now nightly associated. The chief
manifestation consists in the appearance, after midnight, in an
oak-panelled bedroom, of a huge black wolf, accompanied by a little old man
in a bag-wig and faded blue velvet coat, who, looking sadly at the
occupant, and saying, in a mournful voice, "I've lost my return-ticket!"
vanishes suddenly, together with his swarthy companion, into the
linen-cupboard. As this apparition is frequently followed by the sound as
of a man in a complete suit of armour falling head-over-heels down six
flights of stairs, and ultimately, amidst prolonged and piercing shrieks,
apparently lodging in the coal-cellar, a member of the Society for
Promoting Psychical Research could not fail to find the whole experience a
singularly pleasing one. Several people having already been frightened into
fits through passing a night in the castle, a practical joker, who wished
to have a little fun at the expense of an aged and invalid relative or two,
could not do better than ask them down for a week, and let them take turns
at sleeping in the bedroom in question. Address, "BARONET," Goblynhurst,
Howlover.
* * * * *
TIGER-SHOOTING AT HOME. PRIME SPORT WITH BIG GAME.--A Country Clergyman,
who, having taken charge of a Menagerie for an invalid friend, has had the
misfortune to let nearly the whole of it escape and get loose in his
parish, would be glad to have the assistance of several Sportsmen of wide
Indian and African experience, who would be willing to join him in an
effort either to kill, or, if possible, recapture it at the very earliest
opportunity. Though the Advertiser has succeeded in temporarily securing
three lions, a chimpanzee, a couple of hyaenas, and a young hippopotamus in
the Vicarage drawing-room, and has managed to envelope a boa-constrictor in
a lawn-tennis net, yet, as five full-grown Bengal tigers, and about thirty
other wild beasts of a miscellaneous character are at large in the village,
and have, to his knowledge, already devoured the Postman, the Curate, a
School Inspector, and both the horses of the Local Railway Omnibus, he
feels that no time ought to be lost in replying to his appeal. One or two
Experts, armed with Hotchkiss Guns, would be of use, and might write. Would
be glad to hear from a Battery of Horse Artillery. Address, The VICAR, High
Roaring, Notts.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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