_Person behind (with a talent for grim irony of a heavy order)._ Can you inform me whether there are any arrangements for providing luncheon for the Public--because, as it appears I am to spend the entire _day_ here---- _Miss Goodchild (sweetly)._ I'm so very sorry to keep you waiting, Sir. As soon as _ever_ I have attended to this lady!---- _Old Lady._ If you _call_ it attending--which I don't myself. There's your form. _Miss Goodchild._ Oh, but you haven't told me whom you want the order made out to! _Old Lady._ I did--I told you it was my son. If you hadn't been woolgathering, you'd ha' heard me. I'm sure _I_ speak plain enough! _Miss Goodchild (laughing good-humouredly)._ Oh, yes, you speak _very_ plainly--but I want the name in full, please, to put in the instructions. _The Person with the Irony._ When you have _quite_ concluded your little conversation---- _Miss Goodchild (as she fills in the order)._ Now, Sir, what can I do for you? _The Person with the Irony._ Well, I should be glad to be informed what you mean by requiring me to take out a licence for a dog that died of distemper a fortnight after I had him--and I had a warranty with him too! _Miss Goodchild._ Oh, but that isn't my department, you see. You must go----(_gives him elaborate instructions as to the place he is to apply to._) _The Person._ Ah, if you had had the common courtesy to tell me all that before, I should not have wasted my time like this! [_Exit in wrath._ _A Feeble Lady (to_ Miss MEEKIN). Oh, I just thought as I was passing by--may I put my umbrella here--and these parcels? thank you. I daresay you can tell me. Does the Mail for New Heligoland touch at Port Sandune? They go every other Friday, don't they? or is it changed to alternate Tuesdays now? and will there be anyone on board who would look after a box of Japanese rats if I sent them?--they'll want feeding, or _something_ I suppose. [Miss MEEKIN _disentangles these inquiries, and answers them categorically to the test of her knowledge, information and belief_. _Feeble Lady (disappointed)._ Oh, I _quite_ thought you would know _all_ about it! Then you _wouldn't_ send the rats, you think? _Miss Meekin._ No, I don't _think_ I should send the rats, without someone in charge. _Feeble Lady._ Oh, well, but I call it very unsatisfactory--did I put my umbrella down in this corner, or not? Oh, (_slightly annoyed_) you have it ... there must be another parcel, do see if you haven't put it away by mistake! No? Then it will be all right about the rats? [_Exit vaguely._ _A Conversational Man (to_ Miss MANNERLY). _Warm_, isn't it? _Miss Mannerly._ _Very_ warm. What can I do for you? _Conv. Man._ Wait a bit. Give a man time to get his breath ... phew! (_In an injured tone._) Why, the mercury in this office of yours must be over eighty at least! _Miss Mannerly._ I daresay ... you wanted----? _Conv. Man._ Daresay! Haven't you got a thermometer--you can easily look for yourself!