P.S.--_À propos_ of music, I cannot refrain from mentioning the gathering of the _élite_ who recently collected together to do honour to the talents of Mrs. DUTTON COOK. Madame ALBANI was in great force, and the fair _bénéficiaire_ played with her customary grace and artistic feeling, eliciting the invariable result of unbounded applause. It is to be greatly regretted that the Public have not the opportunity of hearing Mrs. DUTTON COOK more frequently. She is certainly in the first rank of pianists and a sound musician. * * * * * "I hear," said Mrs. RAM, "that the Princess CHRISTIAN has written about the _Margarine of Baireuth_. I like to hear of Royalty interesting themselves in such matters. However," she added, "of course, they know which side their Bread's buttered, and like the butter, whether at home or abroad--that is, here or at Baireuth--to be of the very best. So do I." * * * * * "THE CRAMOPHONE."--New invention for repeating any number of crams over and over again. Useful to advertisers, quacks, &c., &c. * * * * * TOO CLEVER BY HALF. "Out of every thousand men in the Army there are now 815 of superior education.... H.R.H. the Field-Marshal Commander-in-Chief has directed Officers to use every means at their disposal to induce men to improve their education in order to obtain the certificate necessary for promotion."--_Daily Paper._ SCENE--_The Barrack Square of the Royal Irish Bengal Essex Highlanders (Prince Christian of Schleswig-Holstein's Own). Members of the Regiment assembling for Morning Parade. A Company falling in._ _Captain Dash (commanding A Company)._ Ready for inspection, Sergeant? _Sergeant Babington Macaulay (saluting)._ Directly, Sir. I have called away the men from a discussion on the question of entail. _Captain_. Dear me! You should not have done that. I shall be only too ready to assist them by any means in my power. _Sergeant._ Well, Sir, they are now in close order. If you wish, I will open them out. (_Captain nods assent. To men._) Open order! [_Flank files rear rank step back two paces._ _Corporal (dressing flank files)._ Steady! _Sergeant._ March! (_Remainder of rear rank step back._) Order arms! Stand at ease! [_He salutes_ Captain, _and comes to attention_. _Captain._ 'Tention! (_Company springs up to desired position._) Now, my men, I hear that some of you require to know something about the Law of Entail. Now those of you who have taken any certificate from a University can take a pace to the front. March! (_The entire Company complies._) Dear me! You seem to be very well educated. Eh, Sergeant? _Sergeant._ Well, pretty well, Sir. We are not equal to E Company, although we can hold our own fairly against B, C, D, F, and G. As for H Company, it is out of the competition altogether. H Company is the best read Company in the Battalion, if not in the Regiment.