I don't altogether like this solicitude on the part of B-LF-R for making smooth water in the House next Session. There is a persistent rumour about that he thinks he can lead the House better than anyone else, and that the Markiss is inclined to humour him. He has never said this in private conversation with me, though he has not made any attempt to disguise his conviction that he could take charge of the Army, the Navy, the Home Office, the Board of Trade, or even the Exchequer. Now I come to think of it, he may, in talking to G-SCH-N, leave out reference to the Exchequer, and substitute the Leadership of the House of Commons, and so with the others. I should certainly like to see him in my place for a week, with GR-ND-LPH on the corner of the bench behind. It is true that of late GR-ND-LPH has considerably flattened down. Having found that impudence and caprice don't pay, he is going in for dulness and respectability. But I fancy the sight of ARTH-R B-LF-R leading the House, and trying to lead him, would be too much. The swept and garnished place would be reoccupied, and his last state would be worse than his first. B-LF-R can't very well send him to a plank bed, and will have to make the best of him. I rather fancy GR-ND-LPH must know, or think he knows, something about this little plot for promoting the nephew, which accounts for his latest impertinence. "And what title do you mean to take when you go to the House of Lords, H. W.?" he asked me the other day. (He always calls me "H. W." which he thinks is an improvement upon DIZZY'S hesitation as to the sequence of the initials.) "How would Baron BOOKSTALL suit?" he added, trying to look harmless. That only shows the inherent vulgarity which underlies the thin veneer of his sometime courtly manner. I never forget what the Markiss once said about him. "Scratch R-ND-LPH CH-RCH-LL," said he, "and you'll find TIM H-LY," which I thought at the time was a little hard on T-M. You will not, I trust, dear TOBY, take it for granted that I am contemplating a near removal to the House of Lords, if I confess that I _have_ sometimes thought over the title I should assume if my duty to my country led me to change my state. I belong, as you know, to one of the oldest families among mankind. It's all very well for BR-SS-Y to talk about coming over with the Conqueror. We came in with the Flood, or shortly after. TUBAL CAIN, the founder of our family, was a century or two before BOIS DE GUILBERT, FRONT-DE-BOEF, or even the SIEUR DE BRESCI. What do you think of Lord TUBAL-CAIN? Would you recognise in that stately and ermined peer, TUBAL-CAIN, of Henley, your old friend of 217, Strand? I wis not. But that, as GL-DST-NE says, belongs to the dim and distant future. I beg to move that the question be now put. Oars! Steady, there! Pull away! Yours, sheer off, W. H. SM-TH. * * * * * ROSES IN DECEMBER.