As among the best books for a young man who had to be the architect of his own fortunes, some one in Mrs. +Ram's+ hearing mentioned +Thomas à Kempis+. "Oh yes," exclaimed the worthy lady, "I know. He built a great part of Brighton which was named after him." * * * +A Real "Orleans" Plum.+--The forged letters. * * * * * [Illustration: MR. PUNCH'S PARALLELS. No. 4. SIR W. V. HARCOURT AS _FALSTAFF_. "+There's no more valour in that _Goschen_ than in a Wild Duck.".... "A plague of all Cowards still say I!+" _Henry the Fourth_, Part I., Act ii, Scenes 2 and 4.] * * * * * Mrs. +Ram+, at this time of year, takes a great interest in the state of the weather, and studies the daily Meteorological chronicle. She says that she always reads the reports from Ben Nevis's Observatory. She hopes that, one of these fine days, this learned astronomer will be made a Knight. Sir +Benjamin Nevis+ would be, she considers, a very nice title. "Of course," she adds, "judging by his name, he must be a Jew. They're such clever people. And, let me see, ain't there a proverb, or something of that sort, about 'the Jew of Ben Nevis'?" * * * * * BISHOP AND PORT. +My Dear Mr. Punch+, In my Autobiography, which I am glad and proud to say, has met with your cordial approbation, I have recorded how the late lamented Bishop, Dr. +Sumner+, said to me, "I have drunk a bottle of port wine every day since I was a boy." Well, his son, the Archdeacon, is annoyed at this statement. Now, my memory is a very good one, and if I am wrong in one point so circumstantially narrated, why not in several, why not in all? If the Bishop did not say this, to me, _who did_? Somebody said it, that I will swear. Who said it? If my memory fails me, is it not also likely that the Bishop's memory was not particularly good, and consequently, that he was mistaken in thinking that he had drunk a bottle a day since his boyhood? I have little doubt that the Bishop only imagined it, and perhaps he was joking. Perhaps he was playing on the words "bishop" and "port." "Bishop" was a hot drink, I fancy, made with port wine. I have no hesitation in comforting his Archidiaconal offspring by assuring him that, to the best of my knowledge and belief, his father, the Bishop, did not drink a bottle of port every day since his boyhood. He was a very fine old clergyman--I forget whether he was exactly portly or not, or whether he resided in Portman Square,--and I should say that first-rate port, such as the _elixir vitæ_ that made a hale centenarian of Sir +Moses Montefiore+, taken frequently, would have tended to make him the genial prelate he was. Had he only gone into port once, that would not have sufficed to have produced such a Bishop, for "One swallow does not make a +Sumner+." Yours ever, +W(ithdraw) P(ort) Frith+.