This gentleman stretched at his ease, Looked monstrously wise and complacent. How green the umbrageous trees! How verdant the country adjacent! Would anyone hint, save a pump, That he is not high equity's model? "Stand down, Mr. Critic, or--" thump! The Sage receives one for his noddle. Gravitation from Magistrates' rules is exempt, And a pippin you cannot commit for contempt. Little Public Opinion will reck, Though austere Rhadamanthus should chide it, And even a haughty Home Sec., In vain will assume to deride it. It does not fear satire or scathe From Minos, though knowing and nobby, And certainly won't pin its faith, To the Bench's pet fetish, the Bobby. To make _him_ an oracle's coming it strong, For even a Constable sometimes goes wrong. Our NEWTON'S "_Principia_" too, _Punch_ rejects in a fashion emphatic. No, _Shallow_, my boy, they won't do, They're at least as absurd as dogmatic. The Curfew you'd better restore; You'd no doubt be delighted to do so, But you won't close the West-End at four, Until, like poor _Robinson Crusoe_, Or _Selkirk_, you're "monarch of all you survey," Which won't be, my NEWTON, this many a day. Nay, things have not come to that pass; And MATTHEWS'S obstinate backing, Will not close the case against CASS. Sound sense seems abundantly lacking In Courts and in Cabinets too; And Public Opinion will grapple With bunglers like MATTHEWS and you; So NEWTON, my boy, 'ware the apple! You'll probably spy out a lesson or two, In this story, that's old, with a moral that's new! * * * * * ANOTHER version of "NEWTON and the Apple," is "NEWTON and the Appeal." In France, it would have been sent up to the Court of Cass-ation. * * * * * A TESTIMONIAL. ON the front page of this week's _Christian Age_ is an excellent portrait of a Christian Youth, Mr. Deputy BEDFORD as _Sir Adonis Evergreen_. _Age!_ What has he got to do with Age, whether a Christian Age or any other? He is not for an Age but for all time, and if "Age is before Honesty," then at what period of his existence----but this is to inquire too curiously into the future. Suffice it to say that there is something in this particular Page which reminds us of an eminently respectable Waiter, not unknown to the public, and to more than one public it may be, as--"ROBERT." Christian Youth, _Salve Flos Waiterum_! and in these "salad days," _Salvete Flores Tomatorum_! * * * * *