But ma friend wur a Michaelmas denner tew as I hedn't naw art to refuse! (_More remorsefully._) An' it maäde me seeä what a gowk I'd beeän to ha' gotten sa thick with a guse! Sa I danged 'er well as I slummocked on, as ard as ma legs cud stoomp, "Waäit till I gets tha, ma laädy!" I sez,--when, arl on a sooden ... Boomp! --An I wur a sprawlin' an' floppin' in wan of the owd Squire's pits, But fur t' claäy at t' bottom an' that, I mout ha bin brokken to bits! An' I roared fur 'elp, fur I cudn't git up, an' the watter wur oop to my chin. But nobbudy eerd ma a' beälin', nor thowt on the hole I wur in! They'd niver find nawthin but boäns, I knawed, if they'd iver the gumption to dredge, Then I groäned (_impressively_)--fur I eerd Araminty a tooklin' 'oop by the edge! (_Sulky sarcasm._) "Wunnerful funny, beänt it?" I sez, (I wur feälin' fit for to choäk. To be catched loike a bee in a bottle--an' see her enjyin' the joäk!) (_Indignantly._) "Hevn't ya naw moor manners," I sez, "ya greät fat himpident thing!" (_Pathetically._) Fur I'd bred her oop from a goslin', I had--and theer wur the sting! Well, she left ma aloän at laäst, an' I hedn't a mossel o' hoäpe-- When by coom HARRY the hedger, an a' hoickt ma oop with a roäpe! "Shudn't ha' heerd 'ee, TAMMAS," he sez, "or knawed as owt wur t' matter-- Ef it hedn't ha bin fur yon guse o' thine, as coom an raäised sech a clatter. An' drawed ma hon in spite o' mysen--till I moinded the hopen shaäft!" (_Catch your breath, then brokenly._) Aye, Minty wur saävin ma life oop theer--when I wur a thinkin' she laäft! Then I rooshed fur to catch her to coodle and gie her a greätful kiss-- Eh, but I right down bloobered (_with pained surprise_)--fur she scatted awaäy with a hiss! "Weän't niver 'urt 'ee ageän!" I sez, "if thee'll hoänly forgit what's past!" She wur raäre an' stiff fur a bit, she wur--but (_with a doddering complacency_) I maäde her coom round at last! An' I had ma Michaelmas denner the saäme--an' a arty good denner he wur! Sat down coompany, tew--fur I cudn't ha' done without _her_! What did we maäke a meäl on? (_Shamefaced confusion here, expressed by scratching the head._) Well,--happen thee'll think me a haäss-- But I'll tell 'ee: (_with candour_) I dined wi Minty on the stooffin' an happle saäss! (_Retire without ostentation, to have your jaw set at the nearest Surgeon's._) * * * * *