* * * * * THE COUNTRY-COUSIN'S VADE MECUM. _Question._ So you have conscientiously done the Jubilee? _Answer._ Certainly. For the last month I have scarcely ever been to bed. _Q._ Why? _A._ Somehow I have not retired to rest before it has been time to get up. _Q._ Did you go to the Abbey? _A._ That I did! Most touching! Shall never forget---- _Q._ Thank you. I think I can supply as much as you want of that sort of thing. I will not trouble you for any descriptions. Were you at the Guildhall Ball? _A._ I was, and saw all the foreign Royalties. _Q._ How did the LORD MAYOR get through it? _A._ On the whole, well; although the Remembrancer, in a full-bottomed wig, rushing about, in a very energetic fashion, was suggestive of _Fusbos_ in _Bombastes Furioso_. _Q._ Were you at the Royal Academy _Soirée_? _A._ Certainly. It was a very large gathering. _Q._ And who did you see there? _A._ The same persons as those I had noticed in the Abbey. _Q._ And they were---- _A._ The persons I had seen at the Reform Club Ball. _Q._ And they? _A._ Were subsequently found at the Inner Temple Ball, the Gray's Inn Maske, and the laying of the foundation-stone of the Institute. _Q._ Was the _Maske of Flowers_ a success? _A._ A very great success; but it was all I could do to keep awake--I was so dead beat--in the Gray's Inn grounds at the Garden Party afterwards. _Q._ And the Volunteer Review--how did you like that? _A._ Oh, splendid! Nearly thirty thousand men all marching past. _Q._ And the Review at Aldershot? _A._ Magnificent! Nearly seventy thousand men marching past. _Q._ Did they all pass you? _A._ Yes, all. They took three hours or more in doing it. They were all alike. Seventy thousand men, all alike, for three hours. It was deeply interesting. _Q._ Did you see the QUEEN? _A._ I saw where she was, but HER MAJESTY was concealed from view by the Long Valley dust. _Q._ Did you go to the Lincoln's Inn Garden Party? _A._ To meet Lord HERSCHELL, his friends, and the Prince and Princess? Certainly. It differed from other Garden Parties in having in the grounds a sort of bath containing a fountain, ducks, and (to the best of my belief) turtles. _Q._ Have you been to many Garden Parties? _A._ Oh yes, to a large number. I have been to nineteen with Indian Princes complete, and two without. _Q._ Did you go to the Naval Review? _A._ Oh yes; in the middle of the night. I came back before the dawn on the following morning. _Q._ Was it very beautiful? _A._ Very--what I could see of it. _Q._ What did you see of it? _A._ Not much. _Q._ Have you done anything else? _A._ I have been in a chronic state of dinners, balls, operas, laying of foundation-stones, fireworks, and marches past. _Q._ Are you at all confused? _A._ So much confused, that I have just head enough left to try, in a feeble manner, to get back to the country. _Q._ And if you do get back to the country, when shall you again visit town?