Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, January 18, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, January 18, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
SIR,--I am a private gentleman, who keeps a carriage, or rather, a
four-horse coach, in which I am continually driving about all over London
at full speed. We dash at such a rate over those portions of the Metropolis
that are blessed with a wood pavement that my coachman is frequently
summoned for furious driving, but we have never yet had a horse down. No
sooner, however, do we get to the asphalte than all this is changed.
Leaders and wheelers alike are instantly on their backs, and I have now
made it a rule, the moment we come to a street paved with this dangerous
and detestable composition, to put my horses inside the coach, and, with
the assistance of a policeman or two, drag the vehicle to the other end
myself. Only yesterday, I think it was, on the north side of Leicester
Square, I counted as many as nineteen ugly falls in as many minutes,
necessitating, in nearly every case, the despatch of the creature on the
spot by a shot from a revolver. The fact is, the laying of _asphalte_
anywhere should be made criminal in a Vestry. I write impartially on this
subject, as, beyond being a sleeping partner in a large firm of Wooden
Road-Paving Contractors, I have no sort of interest to serve, one way or
the other. But it must be obvious, from the account I have given of my own
personal experience above, that in addressing you on the subject, I am
actuated by no motives that are not consistent with and fitting to the
signature of
AN UNPREJUDICED OBSERVER.
SIR,--I am in no way interested in the present pavement controversy, but I
would direct public attention to the real source of all the mischief, and
that is the ineffective shoeing of the unhappy horses, who are compelled to
struggle with the difficulties created for them by a parcel of Paving
Authorities. What we want is a general order issued by the Board of Trade
obliging all horse-owners to provide those they possess with a couple of
pairs of _The Patent India-rubber frog and flannel-soled Horse-Shoes_,
warranted to support the most stumbling beast on any pavement whatever. I
said I was in no way interested in the present controversy, and as I am
merely the Inventor of the shoe above referred to, it must be obvious, that
in making this communication to you, I am only fulfilling the commonest
duties of
AN ORDINARY SPECTATOR.
SIR,--Will not you, or someone, step in and deal with the matter
comprehensively, without paying regard to vested interests? Surely, if the
right people would only put their heads together, they must hit on some
method of bettering the present wretched condition of those much ill-used
but patient and long-suffering creatures, among whom the first to subscribe
himself is
THE ORDINARY LONDON OMNIBUS HORSE.
* * * * *
ANOTHER TITLE FOR THE GUIDE TO THE EXHIBITION AT THE
NEW GALLERY.--"New Edition of the _Tudor's Assistant_."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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