You'll none of you get notices worth twopence from the critics. [_Limps up and down the Stage._ _Miss Amelia Slimper_ (_rather a novice, and anxious to make useful acquaintances among the distinguished Amateurs--to_ Miss KITTY, _whispering_). Are they very keen about notices? _Miss Kitty_ (_experienced in Amateurs_). Keen! I should think they were. They talk about nothing else when it's over. _Boldero_ (_peaceably_). Well, SPINKS, you know you smashed two tables last week, and I thought we agreed to rehearse without one. But I'll see it's there next time. Now then, JARP! Where's JARP? This is his entrance. Where the deuce is he? (_Enter_ JARP _as_ "Mr. BINNS, _Butler to_ Lord SHORTHORN"). Dear me, JARP, what have you been up to? _Jarp_ (_vexed_). What have I been up to? I'll tell you. I've been learning my part, and it would be a good thing if everybody were to follow my example, instead of talking all day. _Boldero._ JARP, don't be sarcastic. It doesn't suit you. Let's see if you know your part, after all this. JARP (_as_ BINNS, _without moving a muscle_). "'Er Ladyship's compliments, Colonel DEBENHAM, and she would like to see you." _Spinks_ (_as_ DEBENHAM). "Very well. Tell her I'll come." _Jarp_ (_as_ BINNS). "Yes, Sir." [_Exit_ JARP _as_ BINNS, _but immediately becomes_ JARP, _and complains to the young Ladies that these fellows never will rehearse properly. The professional Ladies sympathise with him, and admit that it is very provoking, and_ Miss AMELIA _takes the opportunity of expressing her confident opinion that he_, JARP, _will play his part admirably, and only wonders that he hasn't got more to do. Then somehow the conversation wanders towards professional matters, and the probability of_ Miss AMELIA _being engaged next season at a fashionable London Theatre, &c., &c._ _Miss Dorothy_ (_aside, in a whisper, to_ Miss KITTY, _alluding to_ JARP'S _recent exit_). Is that all he's got to say? _Miss Kitty_ (_in same tone to_ Miss DOROTHY). Not quite. He says, "'Er Ladyship is served!" in the next Act. A part like that takes a deal of learning. [_The rehearsal proceeds._ SPUFFIL _does wonders as "a young man about town";_ Colonel CLUMK _performs the part of a Country Clergyman in a manner suggestive rather of a Drill-sergeant than a Vicar._ BOLDERO _having praised_ SPINKS, _is pronounced by the latter to be unapproachable as_ Lord SHORTHORN. _In the Third Act_, HALL _sings his song about_ "the Boy in Buttons." _On the previous day, he had had a difference with_ SPINKS _and_ BOLDERO. _Boldero._ I think that song's out of place. What say you, SPINKS? _Spinks._ Well, it does sound just a trifle vulgar. _Boldero._ Yes. I think we shall have to cut it, HALL. It'll do for next year just as well. You can make it fit any piece?