_Friday._--A set of studs and a drawing-room tiara of "Best Wallsend," are shown in a window of a jeweller's in Bond Street, and attract such crowds that the Police have to be called in to prevent a block in the traffic, and keep the pavement clear for foot passengers. _Saturday._--Furious street riots commenced by a noble Duke in Grosvenor Place pulling up the wood pavement in front of his house, and having it carted rapidly into his coal-cellars. The move becoming popular, spreads in all directions, with the result of leading to serious collisions with the local Vestry Authorities, who call in the aid of the Police. _Sunday._--The Archbishop of CANTERBURY preaches to an enormous congregation in Westminster Abbey, on the "Plague of Darkness" in Egypt by the light of a one-farthing candle. This being, by some misadventure, inadvertently knocked over, the assembled multitude are enabled to realise, to some extent, the gloomy horrors of the situation as described by the reverend preacher, and, stumbling over each other, retire to unlighted streets and fireless hearths, to face another week of the consequences of the "Trade Problem," with the solution of which they have been brought face to face. * * * * * GRAND OLD BILLEE.[A] "It is stated that the captaincy of Deal Castle ... is to be offered to Mr. GLADSTONE, the captaincy being in the gift of the Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports."--_Daily News._ [Illustration:] There were three sailors of London city Who found their (Party) ship at sea, Although with programmes, authorised and unauthorised, Most carefully they had loaded she. There was greedy JOE and glosing JIMMY, And the third was named Grand Old BILLEE; And they were reduced to the piteous prospect Of grubbing on one split (Party) pea. Says greedy JOE to glosing JIMMY, "For captaincy I am hungaree." To greedy JOE says glosing JIMMY, "Then you and I must get rid of _he_." Says greedy JOE to glosing JIMMY, "With one another _we_ should agree. With me as Captain, and you as First Mate, If it wasn't for Grand Old BILLEE." "Oh, BILLEE, we're going to chuck you over, So prepare for a bath in the Irish Sea." When BILL received this information, His dexter optic winked he. "First let me take an observation From the main-top over the Irish Sea!" "Make haste, make haste," says glosing JIMMY, Whilst JOE he fumbled his snickersnee. So BILLY went up to the main-top-gallant mast, And began to count o'er the Irish Sea; And he scarce had come to eighty-six, or so, When up he jumps. "Land Ho!" shouts he. "I can see Ould Ireland! There's the Bay of Dublin; With a distant glimpse of Amerikee. And the Parliament upon College Green, bhoys, With a right good glass I can (almost) see."