Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, May 24, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, May 24, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
RATHBONE certainly a melancholy spectacle. Evidently had spent his
nights and days in preparation of speech on Compensation Bill; brought
it down in large quarto notes. OLD MORALITY glanced across House with
sudden access of interest; thought it was a copy-book; Speech evidently
highly prized at rehearsals in family circle.
"I think," said RATHBONE, complacently, "before I sit down I shall show
you that the view I take is correct."
This remark interjected early in speech; proved rather a favourite.
Whenever RATHBONE got more than usually muddled, looked round nervously
at empty Benches, nodded confidentially to Mace, and remarked, "Before I
sit down I think I shall show you----" What it was he meant to show, no
one quite certain. ELLIOT LEES, who followed, assumed with reckless
light-heartedness of youth, that he meant to show before he sat down,
that the more public-houses licensed, the less drunkenness.
"That," said RATHBONE, with unaccustomed flash of intelligent speech,
"was exactly the reverse of what I undertook to show the House."
Would have gone on pretty well only for (1) the Accountant, and (2)
SINCLAIR. Whatever it was RATHBONE was going to show before he sat down,
he had fortified himself in his position by opinion of a sworn
Accountant. Conversations with this Accountant set forth at length.
RATHBONE appears to have been kept by the Accountant in state of
constant surprise. "Let's take two places in the country," he said, in
one of the more lucid passages. "Well, there are only 360 public-houses
in Leeds. Sheffield has 400 public-houses in proportion to population,
whereas Bradford hasn't 160. Well, I was so much struck with this, that
I wanted to know whether there were any reasons for it. So I applied to
the Accountant--_without telling him my object_--which really was," he
added, nodding quite briskly at the Mace, "to know whether there was
more drunkenness in Leeds or Sheffield. He said at once, that Leeds was
the most. Then I said to the Accountant 'I don't care about your
individual cases, let's take the average. Let's take Birmingham.'"
[Illustration: "----but not clear."]
Afterwards Blackburn and Stockport were "taken"--"As if they were goes
of gin," said the Member for Sark; RATHBONE turning over papers, which
appeared to have got upside down, recited heaps of figures. These struck
him the more he studied them. Anonymous Accountant seemed to have
brought him completely under a spell. His highly respectable appearance,
his evident earnestness, his accumulated mass of figures, his engagement
of the Accountant, the tone of his voice, his general attitude, all
conveyed impression that he was really saying something intelligible and
useful. The few Members present honestly endeavoured to follow him;
might have got a clue only for SINCLAIR.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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