_Wicket-keeper_ (_to Umpire_). I take them without flinching. Umpire, don't I? I'll do my duty to my Team and County As long as I've a knuckle in its place; I have not many--look! And see my face! No, when the game's renewed, JOKIM must try To keep the wicket clearly in his eye, Not the poor wicket-keeper, or you'll see "Retired, hurt" will be the end of Me! * * * * * AN OLD RAILWAY AND A NEW LINE. At the last General Meeting of the L.C. & D., their Chairman made one of his best speeches. Prospects were bright, and hearts were light, just to drop into poetry. Sir E. WATKIN, _alias_ S. Eastern WATKIN, had some time ago been assured judicially of the fact that Folkestone meant Folkestone as clearly as Brighton means Brighton, or Ramsgate means Ramsgate, and the two great Companies were, it was hoped, soon to come to an agreement and live happily ever afterwards. Among other plans for the future, the popular and astute Chairman more than hinted that the day was not far distant when, in consequence of the increasing patronage bestowed on the improved third-class carriages, the trains of the L.C. & D. Company would be made up of first and third, and the middle class would be out of it altogether. This will be a blow to those whose travelling motto has hitherto been "_In medio tutissimus ibis._" But, on the other hand, if the second-class be dropped, the L.C. & D. can adopt the proud motto, "_Nulli Secundus_." _Mr. Punch_, Universal Managing Director, in charge of thousands of lines, wishes them the benefit of the omen. * * * * * [Illustration: THE CLOSE OF THE INNINGS. W.H.S. (_Wicket-keeper_). "TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, UMPIRE:--IF THE BOWLING'S GOING TO BE AS WILD--NEXT INNINGS--AS THIS, I SHALL '_RETIRE HURT_'!"] * * * * * "LEBE WOHL! HELGOLAND!" (_AN INCIDENT OF THE CESSION--HITHERTO UNREPORTED_.) [Illustration] The Representative of BRITANNIA'S Might had departed in appropriate state, and the German Emperor had reached his destination. The new landlord was most anxious to take possession. He was all impatience to appear before his recently-acquired subjects, to show to them the Military Uniform he had assumed after discarding that garb he loved so well--the _grande tenue_ of an Honorary Admiral of the Fleet in the service of VICTORIA, Queen, Empress, and Grandmother. There was a consultation on board the _Hohenzollern_, and then a subdued German cheer. The Chief Naval Officer approached His Majesty, cocked-hat in hand. "Sire," he said, falling on one knee; "all is now ready." "But why has there been this delay?" asked WILLIAM THE SECOND, in a tone of imperial command. "Sire, we could not find the island. Unhappily we had mislaid--" and then the naval officer paused-- "Your charts and field-glasses?" queried His Majesty.