But wot do you think BOB was reading? _The Times_! I could twig it at once. He might 'ave 'ung on to _Gil Blars_, or the _Figgero_,--BOB ain't a dunce-- But lor! not a bit on it, CHARLIE; the Britisher stuck out to rights; 'Twas JOHN BULL's big, well-printed old broad-sheet! Jest one of the pootiest sights! TORTONI'S is all very spiffing, the Bullyvard life is A 1, And the smart little journals of Parry, though tea-paper rags, is good fun; But a Briton abroad _is_ a Briton; _chic_, spice, azure pictures, rum crimes, Is all very good biz in their way, but they do not make up for our _Times_! Well, I'm not on for Turmutshire, CHARLIE, not this time; and now you know why. Carn't yer jest turn the tables, old hoyster, and come for a bit of a fly? Cut the chawbacons, run up to London, jine _me_, and we'll pal off to Parry; And if yer don't find it a 'Oliday Skylark, wy, never trust. 'ARRY. * * * * * VICE VERSÂ.--The French Ministers are away from Paris for their vacation. M. DEVELLE, it is said, has gone to La Bourboule. This is better for the place than La Bourboule going to the Develle. * * * * * [Illustration: HER FIRST WASP. _Poor Effie_ (_who has been stung_). "FIRST IT WALKED ABOUT ALL OVER MY HAND, AND IT _WAS_ SO NICE! BUT OH!--_WHEN IT SAT DOWN!_"] * * * * * THE GERMAN HINTERLAND. (_NEW SONG TO AN OLD TUNE._) Where is the German _Hinterland_? Wherever on a foreign strand There lies a handy sea-coast track, With fertile country at its back, On which to lay a Teuton hand; _There_ is the German _Hinterland_! Where is the German _Hinterland_? Wherever commerce can expand, Without much danger or expense, O'er someone's "sphere of influence,"-- That "someone" failing to withstand-- _There_ is the German _Hinterland_! * * * * * A PUZZLE.--The Dunlo case came to an end. Miss BELLE BILTON remains Lady DUNLO--and quite right too. Yet, if she is still the wife of Lord DUNLO, how is it that she is engaged to AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS? Yet such is the fact. Is she to be the Belle of the Beauty and the Beast (Pantomime)? If so, her Ladyship will look splendid, as she is a Belle Built 'un. * * * * * PROVERBIAL PARLIAMENTARY PHILOSOPHY.--"The course of business never did run smooth."--W.H. SMITH. * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.