"Resist!" laughed the New Zealander, "Why that would cost a halfpenny in the pound more Income Tax, and your rate-payers would never submit to that! Besides, our disease-spreading torpedoes (to which our own people are acclimatised) would soon silence opposition!" "Very true," returned the British Premier, sorrowfully, "very true, indeed. Well, and what next?" "Then O-HANG-HIT has a monopoly of English Beer, and we consent to the cession of Gibraltar to DUNT-KAR-ACUSSER. The simplest thing in the world!" "But where do I come in?" asked the Briton. "Oh, _you_ don't come in at all. But don't be alarmed, we are only contributing our quota to the glorious cause of Peace!" And the Intelligent Foreigner showed the British Premier a report of a speech made by Lord SALISBURY, at the Mansion House, on August 6, 1890. * * * * * TRANSCENDENTAL NEOPHYTE.--Mr. JOHN BURNS has joined the Kabbylists. * * * * * OUR YOTTING YORICK. DEAR EDITOR, How can I send you "a sketch of anything I see," when I haven't seen anything for the last twenty-four hours. Impossible! utterly impossible! You simply want me to do impossibilities, and I am only mortal. _Voilà_! I don't complain; I only say I can't draw what I don't see; and as to sending funny sketches when it's raining in torrents, and been doing so for the last forty-eight hours three minutes and twenty-one and a-half seconds, I'm--well, I can't--_simplement_. Torrents of rain. Anyone can draw water--but draw rain! Yes, when on horseback, I can draw rein. Good that, "when you come to think of it,"--considering that I'm 1900 miles from an English joke, so that this you may say is far-fetched, only 'tisn't fetched at all, as I send it. Think I've left out an "0," and it's 19,000. _It seems like it_. Here we are in Petersburg. Mist's cleared off. We're anchored close to Winter Palace, and I've just seen a droschki-driver, whom I sketch. Not unlike old toy Noah's-Ark man, eh? Something humorous at last, thank Heaven! But did I come 1900 miles to see this? Well, "Neva no more!" [Illustration: Droschki-Driver.]