_MacClaudius_ (_angrily to MACPOLONIUS_). Chamberlain, we part this day month! Ma gracious! [_Exit, followed by Queen and Court._ _Telmah_ (_exultantly_). Now could I drink hot blood, and do such bitter business as the day would quake to look on! _Ghost_ (_entering abruptly_). Well, do it! What's the good of all this play-acting? Cut the ranting, and come to the slaughtering! (_Seizes TELMAH by the arm._) If you are an avenger, behave as such! [_TELMAH greatly alarmed, sinks on his knees before Ghost, and the Curtain falls on the tableau._ ACT III.--_THE MILITARY TOURNAMENT AT THE AGRICULTURAL HALL, ELSINORE, NEAR EDINBURGH, TELMAH, AND MACLAERTES, DISCOVERED FENCING._ _Captain MacOsric, R.A._ (_Superintendent of the Circus_). A hit, a palpable hit! (TELMAH _and_ MACLAERTES _engage a second time, and_ MACLAERTES _wounds his opponent._) One to white! (_Points out_ MACLAERTES _with a small flag. Another round, when_ TELMAH _wounds_ MACLAERTES.) One to black! [_Touches TELMAH with his flag._ _MacClaudius_ (_pouring out a glass of cheap champagne_). Here, TELMAH, you are heated, have a drink! _Telmah_. I'll play this bout first. Set it by awhile. (_Aside to MAC-HORATIO, who smiles._) I know his cellar! _MacGertrude_. I will take it for you, dear! (_Impatiently._) Give me the cup? (_Seizes it._) The Queen carouses to thy fortunes, TELMAH! [_Drinks eagerly and with gusto._ _MacClaudius_ (_aside_). The poisoned cup at eighteen shillings the dozen! It is too late! Ma gracious! [_QUEEN dies in agonies._ _MacLaertes_. TELMAH, I am slain, and so are you--the foils are tipped with poison! (_Speaking with difficulty._) Prod the old 'un! [_Dies._ _Telmah._ The point envenomed, too! Then venom do thy work! [_Stabs King and dies._ _Ghost_ (_entering in blue fire, triumphantly to MACCLAUDIUS_). Now, you'll remember me! [_MACCLAUDIUS dies._ [_Soft music. Scene sinks, discovering magnificent funeral ceremony at the Abbey, Elsinore, near Edinburgh. A solemn dirge (specially composed for this new and original piece) is sung. Slow Curtain._ * * * * * PROS AND CONS OF FOREIGN TRAVEL. (_BY A HESITATING TRIPPIST._) _Antwerp_.--Lots of Rubens, _but_ the Harwich route is objectionable in "dusty" weather. _Boulogne_.--Great attraction this year--Ex-Queen of NAPLES installed--_but_ the port, at low tide, requires all the perfumes of Araby, and more. [Illustration] _Cologne_.--Cathedral finished, _but_ local scent is accurately expressed by "Oh!" _Dieppe_.--Casino cheery, _but_ the passage from Newhaven to French coast at times too terrible for words. _Etretat_.--Amusing society, _but_ the sanitary arrangements are rather shady. _Florence_.--The Capital of Art, _but_ at its worst in the dog days. _Geneva_.--Within reach of Mont Blanc, _but_ hotels indifferent, even when under "Royal Patronage."