_Mr. Toppel_ (_grimly_). Then he must never be liberated! It's no good beginning this method of what I may call, in technical language, 'seisin,' unless we go the whole hog. Well, if you two Juniors will attend to our--em--_clients_ upstairs--(_laughter_)--I and our Chancery friend will superintend the temporary removal of Lord ESHER from the Court that he so much adorns. (_Noise heard._) Ah, that sounds like Sir JAMES HANNEN banging on the ceiling! He must be stopped, as it would be so very awkward if a Solicitor were to call. Not that there's much chance of _that_ nowadays. (To Chancery Barrister.) Come--shall we try a "set-off"? [_Exeunt. Curtain._ * * * * * [Illustration: A PLEASANT PROSPECT! THE LORDS OF THE ADMIRALTY PROCEED TO INSPECT THE FLEET AT THE CLOSE OF THE MANOEUVRES. (WHAT WE MAY EXPECT IF THE GALES AND CASUALTIES CONTINUE.)] * * * * * THE JACKDAW. (_IMITATED FROM EDGAR POE, BY AN INDIGNANT "OBSTRUCTIVE."_) [Illustration] "That (the defeat of our measures) was all due to Obstruction.... It appears that Crown and Parliament are alike to be disestablished, and that in their stead we are to put the Obstructive and the Bore.... I should like to ask them what kind of Government they think best, a Bureaucracy or a Bore-ocracy?"--_Mr. Balfour at Manchester._ Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a dry and dusty volume of Blue-Bookish lore,-- While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping, As of some toy-terrier snapping, snapping at my study door. "'Tis some peevish cur," I muttered, "yapping at my study door,-- Only that,--but it's a bore." Ah! distinctly I remember, it was drawing nigh September, And each trivial Tory Member pined for stubble, copse, and moor; Eagerly they wished the morrow; vainly they had sought to borrow From their SMITH surcease of sorrow, or from GOSCHEN or BALFOUR, From the lank and languid "miss" the Tory _claque_ dubbed "Brave BALFOUR," Fameless else for evermore. Party prospects dark, uncertain, sombre as night's sable curtain, Filled them, thrilled them with fantastic funkings seldom felt before; So that now, to still the beating of faint hearts, they kept repeating Futile formulas, entreating Closure for the "Obstructive Bore"-- With a view to Truth defeating, such they dubbed "Obstructive Bore," As sought Truth, and nothing more. Presently my wrath waxed stronger; hesitating then no longer, "Cur!" I said; "mad mongrel, truly off your precious hide, I'll score; Like your cheek to come here yapping, just as I was gently napping; You deserve a strapping,--yapping, snapping at my study door. I shall go for you, mad mongrel!" Here I opened wide the door. Darkness there, and nothing more!