Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 23, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 23, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Polly_ (_to FLO_). There's ERNIE 'ORKINS;--he doesn't see us yet.
'Ullo, ERNIE, come 'ere and talk to us, won't you?
_Flo_. Don't, POLLY. I'm sure _I_ don't want to talk to him!
_Polly_. Now you know you _do_, FLO,--more than I do, if the truth was
known. It's all on your account I called out to him.
_Mr. Hawkins_ (_coming up_). 'Ullo! so _you_'re 'ere, are you?
[_Stands in front of their chairs in an easy attitude. His
friend looks on with an admiring grin in the background,
unintroduced, but quite happy and contented._
_Polly_. Ah, _we_'re 'ere all right enough. 'Ow did _you_ get out?
_Mr. H._ (_his dignity slightly ruffled_). 'Ow did I get out? I'm not
in the 'abit of working Sundays if _I_ know it.
_Polly_. Oh, I thought p'raps _she_ wouldn't let you come out without
'er. (_Mr. H. disdains to notice this insinuation._) Why, how you are
blushing up, FLO! She looks quite nice when she blushes, don't she?
_Mr. H._ (_who is of the same opinion, but considers it beneath him
to betray his sentiments_). Can't say, I'm sure; I ain't a judge of
blushing myself. I've forgotten how it's done.
_Polly_. Ah! I dessay you found it convenient to forget. (_A pause.
Mr. H. smiles in well-pleased acknowledgment of this tribute to his
brazen demeanour._) Did ARTHUR send you a telegraph?--he sent FLO
one. [_This is added with a significance intended to excite Mr. H.'s
jealousy._
_Mr. H._ (_unperturbed_). No; he telegraphed to father, though. He's
gettin' on well over at Melbun, ain't he? They think a lot of him out
there. And now gettin' his name in the paper, too, like that, why--
_Flo_. That'll do him a lot of good, 'aving his name in the paper,
won't it?
_Mr. H._ Oh, ARTHUR's gettin' on fine. Have you read the letters he's
sent over? No? Well, you come in to-morrow evening and have a look
at 'em. Look sharp, or they'll be lent out again; they've been the
reg'lar round, I can tell you. I shall write and blow 'im up, though,
for not sending me a telegraft, too.
_Polly_. You! 'Oo are _you_? You're on'y his brother, you are. It's
different, his sending one to FLO.
_Mr. H._ (_not altogether relishing this last suggestion_). Ah, well,
I dessay I shall go out there myself, some day.
[_Looks at Miss FLO, to see how she likes that._
_Flo_. Yes, you'd better. It would make you quite a man, wouldn't it?
[_Both girls titter._
_Mr. H._ (_nettled_). 'Ere, I say, I'm off. Good-bye! Come on, ALF!
[_Fausse sortie._
_Polly_. No, don't go away yet. Shall you take _'er_ out with you,
ERNIE, eh?
_Mr. H._ What 'er? I don't know any 'er.
_Polly_ (_archly_). Oh, you think we 'aven't 'eard. 'Er where you live
now. _We_ know all about it!
_Mr. H._ Then you know more than what _I_ do. There's nothing between
me and anybody where _I_ live. But I'm going out to Ostralia, though.
I've saved up 'alf of what I want already.
_Polly_ (_banteringly_). You _are_ a good boy. Save up enough for _me_
too!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account