Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 9, 1890 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 9, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 9, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
It was a sultry afternoon; the battle had been raging for hours; the
casualties had been terrible. "Dress up, there, dress up!" said the
Sergeant in command, addressing detachment No. 2, "and you, JENKINS,
tilt your forage-cap a leetle more over your right ear; BROWN, don't
blow your nose, the General's looking; God bless my soul, THOMPSON,
you've buckled that strap wrong, undo it and re-buckle it at once."
With such words as these he cheered his men, while to right and left
the death-dealing missiles sped, on their course. "Stand at ease;
'shon! Stand at ease! 'shon!" he next shouted. A Corporal at this
point was cut in two by a ball from, a forty-pounder, but nobody
paid any heed to him. Stiff, solid, and in perfect line, stood the
detachments waiting for the word to succour the afflicted. At last it
came. In the midst of breathless excitement the ten bent low, placed
their folded stretchers on the ground, unbuckled and unfolded them,
and then with a simultaneous spring rose up again and resumed their
impassive attitude. "Very good," said the Sergeant, "very good.
THOMPSON you were just a shade too quick; you must be more careful.
Stand at ease!" and at ease they all stood.
But where were the wounded? Aha! here they come, noble, fearless
heroes, all in line, marching with a springy step to their doom.
One by one they took their places, in line at intervals of about ten
yards, and lay down each on his appointed spot to die, or be wounded,
and to be bandaged and carried off. But now a terrible question arose.
_Would there be enough to go round?_ I had only counted nine of them,
which was one short of the necessary complement, but at this supreme
moment another grievously wounded warrior ran lightly up and lay down
opposite the tenth detachment. We breathed again.
And now began some charming manoeuvres. Each detachment walked round
its stretcher twice, then stood at ease again, then at attention, then
dressed up and arranged itself, and brushed, itself down. All this
while their wounded comrades lay writhing, and appealing for help
in vain. It was with difficulty that, lame as I was, I could be
restrained from dashing to their aid. But at last everything was in
order. Stretchers were solemnly lifted. The detachments marched slowly
forward, and deposited their stretchers each beside a wounded man.
Then began a scene of busy bandaging. But not until the whole ten had
been bound up, legs, arms, heads, feet, fingers &c, was it permissible
to lift one of them from the cold cold ground which he had bedewed
with his blood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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