A phrase takes the place of an argument often. And stomachs go empty, and brains slowly soften, And sense sick with dizziness, All in the name of the bosh men embody In one clap-trap phrase that dupes many a noddy, That--business is business! Business? Yes, precious bad business for them, Sir, Whose joyless enslavement _you_ take with such phlegm, Sir, Suppose, to enhance Their small share of ease, such as you, were content, Sir, To lower a trifle your precious "per cent.," Sir, And give _them_ a chance! * * * * * [Illustration: SOFT SAWDER. "BUT I DON'T CALL THIS A FASHIONABLE 'AT!" "IT WILL SOON _BECOME_ SO, MADAM, IF _YOU_ WEAR IT!"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. [Illustration: A Christmas Masque.] In _Camp and Studio_, Mr. IRVING MONTAGU, some time on the artistic staff of _The Illustrated London News_, gives his experiences of the Russo-Turkish Campaign. He concisely sums up the qualifications of a War Correspondent by saying that he should "have an iron constitution, a laconic, incisive style, and sufficient tact to establish a safe and rapid connecting link between the forefront of battle and his own head-quarters in Fleet Street or elsewhere." As Mr. IRVING MONTAGU seems to have lived up to his ideal, it is a little astonishing to find the last chapters of his book devoted to _Back in Bohemia_, wherein he discourses of going to the Derby, a Hammersmith _Desdemona_, and of the _Postlethwaites_ and _Maudles_, "whose peculiarities have been recorded by the facile pen of DU MAURIER." But as the author seems pleased with the reader, it would be indeed sad were the reader to find fault with the author. However, this may be said in his favour--he tells (at least) one good story. On his return from Plevna to Bohemia, a dinner was given in his honour at the Holborn Restaurant. Every detail was perfect--the only omission was forgetfulness on the part of the Committee to invite _the guest of the evening_! At the last moment the mistake was discovered, and a telegram was hurriedly despatched to Mr. MONTAGU, telling him that he was "wanted." On his arrival he was refused admittance to the dinner by the waiters, because he was not furnished with a ticket! Ultimately he was ushered into the Banqueting Hall, when everything necessarily ended happily. One might imagine that Birthday Books have had their day, but apparently they still flourish, for HAZELL, WATSON, & VINEY publish yet another, under the title of _Names we Love, and Places we Know_. The first does not apply to our friends, but to the quotations selected, and places are shown by photos. Of many _Beneficent and Useful Lives_, you will hear "in CHAMBERS,"--the reader sitting as judge on the various cases brought before him by Mr. ROBERT COCHRANE. _Unlucky_ will not be the little girl who reads the book with this name, by CAROLINE AUSTIN.