When M.P.'s were all honest and good, (A long time ago, I'm afraid, Ma'am), We heard of the Babes in the Wood, Who were jockeyed, misled, and betrayed, Ma'am. Well, history, so we are told, Repeats itself--varying slightly-- Once again two poor Babes have been--_sold_, Let us say, just to put it politely. Rum tiddy-um, tiddy-um-tay! Two innocent cherubs they were, Master GLADDY, and young Miss MOORLEENA; Such sweet little souls to ensnare,-- Why, no conduct could well have been meaner. But all things went well for a time; The parties they trusted made much of them; Little they fancied that crime Would ever attempt to get clutch of them. Rum tiddy, &c. All the same, Ma'am, before very long, The Babes found themselves in the Wood. It Was that which is known in Erse song As the Wood of Shillelagh. Now could it Be thought that two brave Oirish bhoys Might be found so confoundedly cruel As to rob two wee bairns of their toys, And then give the poor darlings their "gruel"? Rum tiddy, &c. But somehow one of them fell out With his whilom pet Babe, little GLADDY, Looked on him with anger and doubt, And conspired to destroy him, poor laddie! It seems that the once-admired "kid" Was a Turk, and a rogue, and a pickle, Who wouldn't do what he was bid, But was talkative, tricky, and fickle. Rum tiddy, &c. Clear case of the Wolf and the Lamb! Said the Wolf, "I dislike, and distrust him. His innocence is but a sham. I mean having the bleed of him, bust him!" (Such language sounds vulgar and coarse, And to put it in poesy's painful; But KIPLING will tell you that force Of taste must be sometimes disdainful.) Rum tiddy, &c. Little GLADDY, he turned up his eyes To his guide's now most truculent visage, And feelings of doubt and surprise Took hold on him, trying at _his_ age. Cried he, "Go away, Naughty Man! MOORLEENA, this fellow's a rogue, he Will kill us, I'm sure, if he can, For his face looks as black as Old Bogey!" Rum tiddy, &c. Oh, then the First Robber looked mad, And he ups, and says he to the Second, "This impudent bit of a lad No more a safe pal can be reckoned. Get him out of our way, or the swag Will not be worth much when allotted. MOORLEENA's small weasand _you_ scrag, Whilst _I_ cut young BILLY's carotid!" Rum tiddy, &c. "Ha! stop!" cried the milder of mood, "Your conduct is savage and silly. They will search for _these_ Babes in _this_ Wood, And there'll be a big row about BILLY. Don't fancy you'll finish this job When you've scragged 'em and stifled their sobbins'! If these Babes we should murder and rob, _Their_ graves won't be left to the Robins!" Rum tiddy, &c.