"INGINS is Snakes!" And from its lair This snake seems stirring. Who cries "Scare!"? Well, they who hear the rattle Close at their heels, its spring will dread, And wary watch and cautious tread, And arm as though for battle. Even to drive the keen-fanged snake From its old home in swamp or brake Irks sensitive humanity; But they who know the untamed thing, Have felt its fang, have seen its spring, Hold mercy mere insanity. Untamed, untameable, it hides, _Anguis in herbâ_, coils and glides, And strikes when least expected, And who shall blame its watchful foe Who stands prepared to strike a blow, When the swift death's detected? In the dark jungle dim and damp It lurks, and Civilisation's tramp Disturbs its sanctuary. Hard on the snake? Perchance, perchance! But Civilisation, to advance, Must ruthless be, as wary. "Vindictive spirit" of the wild, 'Twixt you and Progress' pale-faced child Fated vendetta rages, And Pity's self stands powerless To help you counter with success The onset of the ages. Long driven, lingeringly you lurk; Steel and starvation ply their work Of slow extermination. Armed once again Columbia stands, And who'd arrest avenging hands, Must challenge--Civilisation. * * * * * [Illustration: MANNERS OF THE BAR. A SKETCH IN THE LAW COURTS, SHOWING THE PATIENT AND RESPECTFUL ATTENTION OF THE COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF DURING THE SPEECH OF COUNSEL FOR DEFENDANT.] * * * * * The Archbishop of CANTERBURY's learned judgment in the Lincoln Case was very much after the style in which His Grace parts his hair. It was a first-rate example of the _Via Media_. * * * * * A PAGE FROM A POSSIBLE DIARY. (_WRITTEN IN THE WILD WEST._) _Monday_.--Well, here I am. Guess I have got together a pretty tidy Army, that should beat BARNUM into small potatoes. The Arabs from Earl's Court will soon go along straight enough. They seem to miss the Louvre Theatre over yonder, where they were on the free list. Rather a pity I can't start a Show here, but I calculate the country is too disturbed. _Tuesday_.--Nothing much doing. Sent along to SMALL BITE, and he has promised to come round along with a few of the Ghost-Dancers to let me see what I think of them. Fancy the _ballet_ has been done before. That clever cuss GUS, must have used it at Covent Garden when he put up _Robert the Devil_. It seems like the Nun Ballet--uncommonly. _Wednesday_.--SMALL BITE is here. He's friendly enough, but his terms are too high. Fancy they must have been trying to annex him for the Aquarium. The Ghost-Dance is a fraud. Nothing in it. Might fake it up a bit with national flags and red fire. But it's decidedly disappointing. Altogether small pumpkins.