SELL UNIVERSALIS.--Professor SLOTTER, B.J.W.K.R.S., &c., Public Analyst to the Midland Patents Puffing Association, writes:--"I have made a careful analysis of several sealed bottles of this unique preparation, and, as far as I can make out, I have no hesitation in saying that its claim to contain in every single teaspoonful 'all the active principle of two bottles of "'36" champagne, five pounds of pork chops, a pint of train oil, a tinned lobster, a pot of bears' grease, and 73 per cent. of the best boot-blacking and dog-biscuit,' is substantially correct. I have not as yet prescribed it for any of my own patients, but, if I find my practice inconveniently extended, I shall probably do so." * * * * * SELL UNIVERSALIS instantly cures lumbago, toothache, hay-fever, nettlerash, staggers, elephantiasis, and many other ordinary nursery disorders. * * * * * SELL UNIVERSALIS.--"A TRUSTFUL COUNTRY CLERGYMAN" writes:--"I have often had one leg in the grave, on the occasions on which I have been subject to successive attacks of lumbago, toothache, hay-fever, nettlerash, staggers, elephantiasis, and many other ordinary nursery disorders, but I have always found that, by having recourse to a bottle of SELL UNIVERSALIS, I have been enabled slowly to draw it out again; at least, I fancy so." * * * * * SELL UNIVERSALIS, if taken "injudiciously," and administered with judgment, will kill the aged, and remove the youthful. * * * * * SELL UNIVERSALIS.--"A CIRCUMSPECT SOLICITOR WITH AN EYE TO THE MAIN CHANCE," writes:--"Having had seven aged uncles and an infant nephew who stood between me and the enjoyment of a trifling annuity, I presented them all last Christmas with a bottle of the 'SELL,' coupling the gift with the playful injunction that 'the faster they got through it the longer they would live.' By the 10th of January I had buried the whole eight of them. You are quite welcome to make what use you can of this; but, for obvious reasons, I suppress my name and address." * * * * * SELL UNIVERSALIS is a wonderful Brain and Nerve Tonic, entirely revivifying the shattered powers of the disheartened and over-taxed literary man. * * * * *