Mere Goblin Gold its glittering show of Gain: Spectre of Chaos and the Abyss, it flutters Before you flaunting high its foolish fire, But there's a lie in each loud word it utters, And its true goal is Anarchy's choking mire! * * * * * TIME THE AVENGER! On the 24th of June, 1871, _Mr. Punch_ sang, _àpropos_ of the Germans desiring to purchase Heligoland-- "Though to rule the waves, we may believe they aspire, If their Navy grow great, we must let it; But if one British island they think to acquire, Bless their hearts, don't they wish they may get it?" And they _have_ got it! * * * * * [Illustration: THE LYING SPIRIT.] * * * * * A GRUMBLE FOR THE GRENADIERS. What is this your _Punch_ hears of you? Can't you dissipate his fears? Did the bugle ring out vainly for the British Grenadiers? Once the regiment was famous for its deeds of derring-do, And you followed where the flag went when on alien winds it flew. Has the soldiers' "oath of duty" been forgotten, that you shirk, Not the face of foe, we're certain, but this kit-inspecting work? You have trodden paths of glory (we have seen your banners fly) Where the murky smoke of battle gathered thickly o'er the sky; Can you thus besmirch the laurels that in other days you won, By forgetfulness of duties that by soldiers must be done? Egad! my gallant lads, your _Punch_ can scarce believe his ears, When he hears this shocking story of the British Grenadiers! * * * * * VOCES POPULI. AT A DANCE. The Hostess is receiving her Guests at the head of the staircase; a Conscientiously Literal Man presents himself. _Hostess_ (_with a gracious smile, and her eyes directed to the people immediately behind him_). _So_ glad you were able to come--how do you _do_? [Illustration] _The Conscientiously Literal Man_. Well, if you had asked me that question this afternoon, I should have said was in for a severe attack of malarial fever--I had all the symptoms--but, about seven o'clock this evening, they suddenly passed off, and-- [Perceives, to his surprise, that his Hostess's attention is wandering, and decides to tell her the rest later in the evening. _Mr. Clumpsole_. How do you do, Miss THISTLEDOWN? Can you give me a dance? _Miss Thistledown_ (_who has danced with him before_--once). With pleasure--let me see, the third extra after supper? Don't forget. _Miss Brushleigh_ (_to Major Erser_). Afraid I can't give you anything just now--but if you see me standing about later on, you can come and ask me again, you know.