Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Miss T.R._ No--not yet. What do you think of it?
_Mr. C._ Oh--_I_ haven't been either. Er--do you care to--?
[They take another turn.
_Mr. C._ (_after third halt_). Er--do you take any interest in
politics?
_Miss T.R._ Not a bit.
_Mr. C._ (_much relieved_). No more do I. (_Considers that he has
satisfied all mental requirements_). Er--let me take you down-stairs
for an ice.
[They go.
_Mrs. Grappleton_ (_re-entering with_ Mr. BOLDOVER, _after a
discussion that has outlasted two ices and a plate of strawberries_).
Well, I thought you would have explained my difficulties better than
_that_--oh, what a _delicious_ waltz! Doesn't it set you longing to
dance?
_Mr. B._ (_who sees_ Miss ROUNDARM _in the distance, disengaged_).
Yes, I really think I must--
[Preparing to escape.
_Mrs. Grappleton_. I'm getting such an old thing, that really I
oughtn't to--but well, just this _once_, as my husband isn't here.
[MR. BOLDOVER resigns himself to necessity once more.
_First Chaperon_ (_to 2nd ditto_). How sweet it is of your eldest girl
to dance with that absurd Mr. CLUMPSOLE! It's really too _bad_ of him
to make such an exhibition of her--one can't help smiling at them!
_Second Ch._ Oh, ETHEL never can bear to hurt anyone's feelings--so
different from some girls! By the way, I've not seen _your_ daughter
dancing to-night--men who dance are so scarce nowadays--I suppose they
think they have the right to be a little fastidious.
_First Ch._ BELLA has been out so much this week, that she doesn't
care to dance except with a really first-rate partner. She is not so
easily pleased as your ETHEL, I'm afraid.
_Second Ch._ ETHEL is _young_, you see, and, when one is pressed so
much to dance, one can hardly refuse, _can_ one? When she has had as
many Seasons as BELLA, she will be less energetic, I daresay.
[MR. BOLDOVER has at last succeeded in approaching Miss
ROUNDARM, and even in inducing her to sit out a dance with
him; but, having led her to a convenient alcove, he finds
himself totally unable to give any adequate expression to the
rapture he feels at being by her side.
_Mr. B._ (_determined to lead up to it somehow_). I--I was rather
thinking--(_he_ meant _to say, "devoutly hoping," but, to his own
bitter disgust, it comes out like this_)--I should meet you here
to-night.
_Miss R._ Were you? Why?
_Mr. B._ (_with a sudden dread of going too far just yet_). Oh,
(_carelessly_), you know how one _does_ wonder who will be at a place,
and who won't.
_Miss R._ No, indeed, I don't.--_how_ does one wonder?
_Mr. B._ (_with a vague notion of implying a complimentary exception
in her case_). Oh, well, generally--(_with the fatal tendency of a shy
man to a sweeping statement_)--one may be pretty sure of meeting just
the people one least wants to see, you know.
_Miss R._ And so you thought you would probably meet me. I _see_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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