_Mrs. R._ (_breaking down_). Oh, JACK, isn't it beautiful? Wasn't it _sweet_ of Uncle JOHN to give it to us! _Jack_ (_who, privately, would have infinitely preferred a small cheque_). Yes--he's a good old buffer at bottom. _Mrs. R._ He's a perfect old _love_! Tell me, JACK, you're not _sorry_ you married me, _are_ you? _Jack._ What a thing to ask a fellow Of _course_ I'm not! _Mrs. R._ (_softly_). Do you know, JACK, I'm sometimes sorry I married _you_, though. _Jack_ (_uneasily_). Come, I _say_, you know--what on earth for? _Mrs. R._ Because I should like to marry you all over again!... Ah, I _knew_ I should frighten you! (_The final "Amen" of the Choir dies away, amid the coughing, rustling, and nasal trumpeting of last year's Congregation._) There are some more cylinders, JACK--shall we put them in next? _Jack_ (_who feels sufficiently solemnised_). Well, if you ask me, I think they'll keep till next year. Pity to disturb the effect of that last, eh? SECOND ANNIVERARY--1894. _SAME SCENE AND TIME. MRS. RIVENLUTE DISCOVERED ALONE_. _Mrs. R._ He might at _least_ have made _some_ allusion to the day--it would have been only _decent_! He can't possibly have _forgotten_! I don't know, though, very likely he has.... Well, _I'm_ not going to remind him! I suppose he means to stay downstairs, smoking, as usual, all the evening. Oh, if I could only make him ashamed of himself just _once_!... _I_ know! Uncle JOHN'S phonograph! He can't help hearing _that_. (_She winds it up, as JACK R. enters, yawning._) Dear me, this _is_ an unexpected honour. (_Softening slightly._) Have you come up to keep me company--for once? _Jack._ Well, to tell you the truth, my dear, I fancy I left the evening paper here. An, there it is. [_He seizes it, and prepares to go._ _Mrs. R._ You can read it here, if you _like_, you know--I don't mind your smoking. _Jack._ Thanks--but it's cosier in the study. _Mrs. R._ Of course I know that any place where I don't happen to be is cosier in _your_ opinion. _Jack._ Oh, hang it, don't begin all that again--there, _I_'ll stay! (_He chooses a comfortable chair._) What the doose is that? [_The phonograph has begun to buzz and hum._ _Mrs. R._ Hush!--it's Uncle JOHN'S present. [_The "Wedding March" strikes up with a deafening blare._ _Jack_ (_startled_). Bless my soul! I thought something had blown up. "_Hallelujah Chorus_," is it--or what? _Mrs. R._ (_coldly_). As it happens, it is MENDELSSOHN'S "_Wedding March._" _Jack._ Sounded familiar somehow. 'Jove! MENDELSSOHN was determined to let 'em know _he_ was married! _Mrs. R._ That was intended to let people know _we_ were married. It is our Wedding March. _Jack._ Ours? You said it was _MENDELSSOHN'S_ just now! But what are you turning it on _now_, for? _Mrs. R._ Do you remember what day this is, by any chance? _Jack._ Haven't an idea. Isn't there a calendar on your writing-table?--that ought to tell you, if you want to know.