Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 26, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 26, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_House of Commons, Monday, July 14._--Government again narrowly
escaped defeat. Last time it was Ascot; this time Marlborough House
Garden Party. "This Session," says T. HARRINGTON, "I've taken to
subscribing to _The Morning Post_; study its fashionable news; look
out for arrangements likely to draw men away from House; then me and
SAGE put our heads together; arrange for Division; take it smart, and
Government left in lurch."
To-day opportunity found in Motion for Select Committee on
constitution of Scotch Committee. AKERS-DOUGLAS proposed twenty-one
members, all Scotch but one. "Let us have the lot Scotch," says
ROBERTSON; moves Amendment accordingly. House pretty full, knowing
crisis at hand; Government Whips scouting for Members.
"Tell you what I'll do," says PENROSE FITZGERALD to AKERS-DOUGLAS;
"I hate garden-parties and that sort of thing, but as we shall be in
a hole if Division now rushed, I'll take cab, run up to Marlborough
House, fetch down some men; inconvenient, you know; works against
grain; would rather be down here helping you than mingling in
glittering throng; but, as the Governor says, duty is our loadstar;
say the word, and I'll go off to Pall Mall and fetch a lot down."
"FITZGERALD," said AKERS-DOUGLAS, wringing his hand, "you're a brick.
You always think of the right thing, and are ready to do it."
DOUGLAS paused to wipe away tear drawn from his sensitive glands by
this evidence of self-sacrifice. When he'd done it, looking again
at FITZGERALD'S briskly-retreating figure, couldn't help noting
how smartly he was got up; summer pants; white waistcoat; the short
"reefer," familiar in the Lobby, cast aside for the courtly frock
coat; observed him as he strode forth, producing pair of lavender
kid gloves.
"Odd," said DOUGLAS, reflectively. "FITZGERALD never expected to go
to Garden Party; down here to help me; sudden emergency, and spirit
of self-devotion, suggested to him to run over, and see what could
be done; happy chance to find him, by exception, in the right rig.
It would never have done for him to rush over to Marlborough House to
meet the QUEEN in his 'reefer.' Curious, when I come to think of it.
Hope there's not more in it than meets the eye."
_But there was._
Debate on ROBERTSON'S Amendment abruptly closed; Division rushed;
position of Government critical; AKERS-DOUGLAS anxiously on look-out
for FITZGERALD and the Marlborough House relief party; but they came
not, and on Division Government saved by skin of teeth and eight
votes. An hour later, PENROSE FITZGERALD returned to Lobby with
guilty look; carefully avoided AKERS-DOUGLAS; that able captain too
broken-hearted at the perfidy to be angry; "NOAH'S dove didn't treat
him so," he said to himself; but all he said to FITZGERALD was,
"Pleasant Party at Marlborough House, I suppose?" "Yee-es," said
FITZGERALD; "rather; couldn't get back quite as soon as I expected."
_Business done._--Irish Votes in Supply.
[Illustration: Haste to the Wedding.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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