Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 26, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 26, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The mighty Empire reared upon the main,
He "cherished, served, and laboured to maintain."
And who will doubt the claim by this made good
To neighbouring NELSON, and our COLLINGWOOD?
His country holds her loyal son's remains;
But here, whilst WREN'S huge dome rolls back the strains
Of the great organ's golden mouths, or while
Paean or requiem sounds along the aisle
Sacred to mighty memories, DALLEY'S name
Inscribed amongst our home-born heirs of fame
Shall stand, and show to all our Island brood
Australia's love, and England's gratitude.
* * * * *
VERY MUCH AT SEA.
As there appears to be some confusion with regard to the exact nature
of the programme scheme for the forthcoming Naval Autumn Manoeuvres,
the following sketch, gleaned from recent inquiry on the subject made
at Whitehall, may, if he can manage to follow it, possibly serve to
enlighten the uninitiated outsider.
[Illustration]
An enemy's fleet, having, it is supposed, escaped the vigilance of
the Channel Squadron, consisting of H.M. First-class Battle-ship
_Blunderer_, accompanied by the third-class cruiser _Jack-ass_, and
the torpedo-boats _Corkscrew_ and _Tooth-brush_, which, also it is
supposed, represent a fleet of thirty-six iron-clads, twenty-six
armoured cruisers, attended by fifty torpedo vessels, have sailed
victoriously up the Thames, and, having seized the Serpentine, command
the, equally supposed, Milk Supply of Bayswater, Paddington, and
the whole of the North of London. This news having been conveyed to
another fancied fleet that is covering a convoy of ships, imagined to
be attempting to land corn, that they have brought from ports across
the Atlantic, simultaneously at Pegwell Bay, Margate, and the Isle
of Dogs, it is again supposed that, acting under sealed orders,
they elude the enemy, and dividing their forces, make for Gravesend,
Liverpool, Dundee, "The Welsh Harp" at Hendon, and Yarmouth. The
problem, therefore, presented to Admiral FLYOFF, who is in command of
the defending squadrons, will be, after utilising the supposed coast
defences, and mining the Serpentine, to force the enemy to accept
the issue of an open action on the Regent's Canal, and the Ornamental
Water at the Crystal Palace. Failing this, it will be left to the
Umpires, who, being supposed to be in several places at the same time,
will be provided with a tricycle, fog-horn, and telescope, to enable
them to adjudge the exact amount of success or failure following
respectively on each effort, with as near a resemblance as is possible
to the probable issues in real warfare. Any matters remaining in
dispute and undecided, will be ultimately settled by the First Lord,
who will toss up with a two-headed halfpenny, specially provided for,
in the Estimates, for the purpose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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