Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 5, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 5, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
What can they be up to? a gazer might say,
As he watched their eccentric career from the banks.
Three 'ARRIES at large on a Bank Holiday
Could hardly indulge in more blundering pranks.
Stroke "catches a crab" in the clumsiest style,
(And they called him a fine finished oarsman, this chap!)
At his "Catherine-wheeler" a Cockney might smile,
As he tumbles so helplessly back in Bow's lap.
And Bow!--well, he's snapped off the blade of his scull,
And poor Cox's steering-gear's all "in a mull."
It's all that Stroke's fault--so the whisper goes round.
He _would_ try new dodges, uncalled-for, unproved,
They were "going great guns," when he suddenly found
That, to make himself Champion (and get himself loved
By the river-side "Bungs" and their large _clientèle_),
He must--set a new stroke in the midst of a spin--
A policy plainly predestined to fail,
And one, we must own, scarce deserving to win.
And so he has smashed up a shining success,
And got himself into a deuce of a mess.
So various voices! And this was the oar
They triumphantly won from a great rival crew;
The cool-headed, steady-nerved Stroke, bound to score;
The fellow who funking or failure ne'er knew.
_He_ hurry, or falter, catch crabs, miss, or muff?
No, no; lesser men might--say, GL-DST-NE or SM-TH--
But _he_ was not made of such common-place stuff,
His nerve was all steel, and his muscle all pith.
And now he's adrift amidst snags, stumps, and rooks,
And the Coxswain has just lost his rudder--poor Cox.!
And danger's ahead, and the full of the weir
Sounds close, as that Stroke tumbles "head over tip."
No wonder poor Bow, his oar bladeless, looks queer.
No wonder the Steersman his yoke-lines lets slip.
The Three are "In Trouble," of that there's no doubt;
Stroke mutters, "Obstruction!" Bow talks of "a foul."
But when you have muffed it, and foes are about,
It isn't much use at bad fortune to growl.
No; Stroke, Bow, and Coxswain must "go it like bricks,"
If they mean to get out of this troublesome fix.
* * * * *
ERRATUM.--_Mr. Punch_ last week paid the Notts' Cricketer, GUNN,
a well-deserved compliment on his great innings of 228 against
the Australians. He _intended_ to represent him as piling-up that
huge score "against the best bowling." The obviously accidental
substitution of the word "batting" for "bowling" here, caused "the
Nottingham Giant" to be credited with a novel cricketing performance,
to which even _he_ would hardly be equal. The proverbial Irish gun
that could "shoot round a corner," would not be "in it" with a GUNN
who could "bat against batting!" As a Correspondent (in slightly
different words) suggests:--
"When a Champion Batsman's performance extolling,
'Tis well to distinguish, 'twixt batting and bowling!"
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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