Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 5, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 5, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
[Illustration: "Toby, M.P., I presume?"]
"TOBY, M.P., I presume?" said BROADHURST, as I walked out. He had
been looking on, and had quite caught the graceful manner of the LORD
CHANCELLOR. I raised my hat three times, and went on to the Commons,
where there were wigs on the Green.
_Business done_.--In Commons, Compensation Clauses withdrawn.
_Tuesday_.--TIM HEALY puts final spoke in wheel of Compensation Bill.
Rose after questions on paper disposed of, and asked for ruling of
SPEAKER on an important point affecting Parliamentary Procedure. TIM'S
manner boded ill for the Government--deferential, low-voiced, with
total absence of self-assertion or aggression, TIM stood, the very
model of a modest young man.
"Yes," said Prince ARTHUR, "but I hope he's not going to say anything
about Irish business. When he's in this mood, I prefer he should
address himself to my dear friend JOKIM."
[Illustration: _Right Hon. A. Balfour_. "My dearest Tim, 'for this
relief much thanks!'"]
TIM had anticipated Prince ARTHUR'S wishes. It _was_ about
Compensation Bill that he desired to consult SPEAKER. JOKIM, as
last turn in devious course, had proposed to dodge difficulty
about Compensation by accumulating proceeds of increased till
some indefinite period, when great reform of Licensing should be
introduced. "But," says TIM, almost begging pardon for interposing,
"in Budget Bill it has been specifically decreed that proceeds of
tax should be appropriated during present Session." Accumulation, TIM
urged, with a vague notion that he was dropping into poetry, is not
Appropriation. SPEAKER agreed with him: consternation on Treasury
Bench; Ministers tried to put bold face on affairs; could not discuss
question now; would do so by-and-by; confident they could show there
was nothing in TIM'S objection. An hour later, when time came to
resume Committee on Compensation Bill, OLD MORALITY announced that
it would be postponed to give Ministers opportunity to consider point
suggested by TIM. Shout of exultation went up from Opposition Benches:
prolonged fight had been won at last; the obnoxious Bill was floored,
and TIM had done it.
OLD MORALITY, standing at table in attitude where natural nobility of
character struggled with accidental depression, said: "Success, Mr.
SPEAKER, is a mark no mortal wit of surest hand can always hit. For
whatsoe'er we perpetrate, we do but row; we are steered by fate, which
in success often disinherits, for spurious causes, noblest merits.
Great occasions, Mr. SPEAKER, are not always true sons of great and
mighty resolutions, nor, I may add, do the boldest attempts bring
forth events still equal to their worth. That may be the case with
us; but at least we shall carry to our homes the consciousness that we
have diligently striven to do our duty to our QUEEN and our country."
General cheering at this little speech, and scarcely dry eye on
Treasury Bench.
_Business done_.--Compensation Bill in fresh difficulties.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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