That friend was partial to lamb chops, Likewise to devilled kidney; So friendly MARY promptly went Unto "a firm in Sydney." That firm replied, "the lamb we'll send By parcel to your cousin; That is, if you do not object To have your darling frozen." Then Mary wept. She said, "My lamb Has wool as white as snow; But packed in ice? It don't sound nice, No, Sydney Merchant, No! "Refrigerate my darling! Oh! It makes my bosom bleed. Still, go it must. I think you said, 'Delivery guaranteed!'" So Mary's lamb the ocean crossed By "Frozen Parcel Post;" And Mary's Cousin said its chops Were most delicious--_most_! MORAL. Science, though it pays "cent. per cent.," Is destitute of pity; And makes hash of the sentiment Dear to the Nursery ditty. * * * * * ROBERT AS HUMPIRE. I was a takin of my favrit walk, larst Friday was a week, from Charing Cross round to my own privet residence in Queen street, when a yung lad tapped me on the sholder and said to me, "Please, Sir, are you the sillybrated Mr. ROBERT, the Citty Waiter?" In course I replied, "Yes, most suttenly;" when he said, "Then this yere letter's for you, and I wants a emediat arnser." Concealing my wisibel estonishment, I took him hup Healy Place, where the werry famous Lawyer lives, as can git you out of any amownt of trubbel, and then opened the letter, and read the following most estonishing words, wiz.:--"Mr. ROBERT,--can you come _immediately_ to the ---- Club, as you alone can decide a very heavy wager that is now pending between two Noble Lords who are here awaiting your arrival. You will be well paid for your trouble. The Bearer will show you the way.--J.N." I coud learn nothink from my jewwenile guide, so I told him to lead the way, and off we started, and soon arived at the Club. I need ardly say that, being all quite fust-rate swells, they receaved me in the most kindest manner, and ewen smiled upon me most freely, which in course I felt as a great complement.