With his rod and his hook see him carefully rake The bed of the river, and gallantly wading, Arrayed in his breeches, endeavour to make Of genuine sport but a mere masquerading. You might think him a fool for his trouble--but look! (And it's true, though at first it appears to be gammon) With a horrible jerk, as he pulls up his hook, The sportsmanlike sniggler has landed a salmon! As a nation of sportsmen, it rouses our ire To hear of sport ruined by such a proceeding; And to snigglers we earnestly wish and desire To give the advice they so sadly seem needing. Let them think, as they work their inglorious plan, How old IZAAK must turn in his grave and must wriggle; And may they in future all see if they can, By learning to angle, forget how to sniggle! * * * * * IN OUR GARDEN. [Illustration] Discovered on returning home that the Member for SARK had not at all exaggerated the facts picturing disaster to our onion-bed. This portion of the garden had been disappointing from the first. Early in the Spring, when hope beat high, and the young gardener's fancy lightly turned to thoughts of large crops, SARK and I were resting after a frugal luncheon, when ARPACHSHAD suddenly appeared at the open window. I knew from his beaming face that something was wrong. Perhaps I should explain that ARPACHSHAD is our head gardener. We have no other, therefore he is the head. Out of the garden he is known as PETER WALLOPS. It was SARK who insisted upon calling him ARPACHSHAD. SARK had noticed that about the time of the Flood there was singular deliberation in entering upon the marriage state. Matrimony did not seem to be thought of till a man had turned the corner of a century. SHEM, himself, for example, was fully a hundred before his third son, ARPACHSHAD, was born. But ARPACHSHAD was already a husband and a father at thirty-five. "That," said SARK, "is a remarkable circumstance that has escaped the notice of the commentators. It indicates unusual forwardness of character and a habit of swift decision. We hear nothing more of ARPACHSHAD, but we may be sure he made things move. Now what we want in this garden is a brisk man, a fellow always up to date, if not ahead of it. Let us encourage WALLOPS by calling him ARPACHSHAD."