_A Stolid Assistant_ (_in shirtsleeves_). Figgers _'ere_, Gen'lm'n! [_Languid surge of crowd towards them._ _A Facetious Bidder_. Which of 'em's the finger, and which the toe? _Auct._ (_coldly_). I should have thought it was easy to identify by the attitude. Now, Gentlemen, give me a bidding for these very finely-executed works by BIMBI. Make any offer. What will you give me for 'em? Both very sweet things, Gentlemen. Shall we say ten guineas? _A Grubby Man_. Give yer five. _Auct._ (_with grieved resignation_). Very well, start 'em at five. Any advance on five? (_To_ Assist.) Turn 'em round, to show the back view. And a 'arf! Six! And a 'arf! Only six and a 'arf bid for this beautiful pair of figures, done direct from nature by BIMBI. Come, Gentlemen, come! Seven! Was that _you_, Mr. GRIMES? (_The Grubby Man admits the soft impeachment._) Seven and a 'arf. Eight! It's _against_ you. _Mr. Grimes_ (_with a supreme effort_). Two-and-six! [_Mops his brow with a red cotton handkerchief._ _Auct._ (_in a tone of gratitude for the smallest mercies_). Eight-ten-six. All done at eight-ten-six? Going ... gone! GRIMES, Eight, ten, six. Take money for 'em. Now we come to a very 'andsome work by PIFFALINI--"_The Ocarina Player_," one of this great artist's masterpieces, and an exceedingly choice and high-class work, as you will all agree directly you see it. (_To Assist._) Now, then, Lot 14, there--look sharp! _Stolid Assist._ "Hocarina Plier," eyn't arrived, Sir. _Auct._ Oh, hasn't it? Very well, then. Lot 15. "_The Pretty Pill-taker_," by ANTONIO BILIO--a really magnificent work of Art, Gentlemen. (_"Pill-taker, 'ere!" from the S.A._) What'll you give me for her? Come, make me an offer. (_Bidding proceeds till the "Pill-taker" is knocked down for twenty-three-and-a-half guineas._) Lot 16, "_The Mixture as Before_," by same artist--make a charming and suitable companion to the last lot. What do you say, Mr. MIDDLEMAN--take it at the same bidding? (Mr. M. _assents, with the end of one eyebrow._) Any advance on twenty-three and a 'arf? None? Then.--MIDDLEMAN, Twenty-four, thirteen, six. _Mr. Middleman_ (_to the Amiable Spectator, who has been vaguely inspecting the "Pill-taker."_) Don't know if you noticed it, Sir, but I got that last couple very cheap--on'y forty-seven guineas the pair, and they are worth eighty, I solemnly declare to you. I could get forty a-piece for 'em to-morrow, upon my word and honour, I could. Ah, and I know who'd _give_ it me for 'em, too! _The A.S._ (_sympathetically_). Dear me, then you've done very well over it. _Mr. M._ Ah, well ain't the word--and those two aren't the only lots I've got either. That "_Sandwich-Man_" over there is mine--look at the work in those boards, and the nature in his clay pipe; and "_The Boot-Black_," that's mine, too--all worth twice what _I_ got 'em for--and lovely things, too, ain't they? _The A.S._ Oh, very nice, very clever--congratulate you, I'm sure.