_The Am. Spect._ (_who has only ransomed himself by taking over an odd lot, consisting of imitation marble fruit, a model, under crystal, of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and three busts of Italian celebrities of whom he has never heard_). I'm afraid I shan't have very much chance of forgetting you. _Good_ afternoon! [_Exit hurriedly, dropping the fruit, as Scene closes._ * * * * * [Illustration: PRIVATE THEATRICALS. _Fond Parent_ (_to Professional Lady_). "TELL ME, MISS LE VAVASOUR, DID MY SON ACQUIT HIMSELF CREDITABLY AT THIS AFTERNOON'S REHEARSAL?" _Miss Le Vavasour_. "WELL, MY LORD,--IF YOUR SON ONLY ACTS THE LOVER ON THE STAGE HALF AS ENERGETICALLY AS HE DOES IN THE GREEN-ROOM, THE PIECE WILL BE A SUCCESS!"] * * * * * FROM OUR MUSIC HALL. I had a fine performance at my little place last week. Gave the _Elijah_ with a chorus whose vigorous delivery and precision were excellent, and except for uncertain intonation of _soprani_ in first chorus, I think though perhaps I say it who shouldn't, I never heard better chorussing within my walls. Madame SCHMIDT-KOEHNE has a good voice, but I can't say I approve of her German method, nor do I like embellishments of text, even when they can be justified. The _contralto_, Madame SVIATLOVSKY (O Heavenly name that ends in _sky_!) is not what I should have expected, coming to us with such a name. Perhaps not heard to advantage: perhaps 'vantage to me if I hadn't heard her. But Miss SARAH BERRY brought down the house just as SAMSON did, and we were Berry'd all alive, O, and applauding beautifully. _Brava_, Miss SARAH BERRY! "As we are hearing _Elijah_," says Mr. Corner Man, "may I ask you, Sir, what Queen in Scripture History this young lady reminds me of?" Of course I reply, "I give it up, Sir." Whereupon he answers, "She reminds me, Sir, of the Queen who was BERENICÉ--'Berry-Nicey'--see?" Number next in the books. Mr. WATKIN MILLS was dignified and impressive as _Elijah_; but, while admitting the excellence of this profit, we can't forget our loss in the absence of Mr. SANTLEY. BEN MIO DAVIES sang the tenor music, but apologised for having unfortunately got a pony on the event,--that is, he had got a little hoarse during the day. "BEN MIO" is--um--rather _troppo operatico_ for the oratorio. Mr. BARNBY bravely bâtoned, as usual. Bravo, BARNBY! He goes on with the work because he likes it. Did he not, he would say with the _General Bombastes_-- "Give o'er! give o'er! For I will bâton on this tune no more." Perhaps the quotation is not quite exact, but no matter, all's well that ends well, as everyone said as they left. Yours truly, ALBERT HALL. * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S PRIZE NOVELS. NO. VII.--A BUCCANEER'S BLOOD-BATH.