"Thank you, Mr. B.L. FARJEON," says the Baron, "for a clever little novel called _A Very Young Couple_." Perhaps it might have been a trifle shorter than it is with advantage; and, if it had been published in that still more pocketable form which has made the Routledgean series of portable-readables so popular with the Baron, and those who are guided by his advice, the book would be still better. As it is, it is clever, because the astute novel-reader at once discards the real and only solution of the mystery as far too commonplace, and this solution is _the_ one which Mr. FARJEON has adopted. It is the expected-unexpected that happens in this case, and the astute reader is particularly pleased with himself, because he finishes by saying, "I knew how it would be, all along." BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES. DURING A VISIT. "_Pray don't move;_" i.e., "He will be a brute if he doesn't." "_I hope I am not disturbing you;_" i.e., "I don't care the least if I am." "_What a delightful volume of poems your last is!_" i.e., "Haven't read one of them; but he won't find it out." "_So much in your new book that is interesting about those dear Japanese;_" i.e., "Glad I happened to glance at that page." "_Do tell me when you next lecture. Wouldn't miss it for worlds!_" i.e., "Wild horses would not drag me there." "So _sorry you are going. Mind you come and stay with us again_ very _soon;_" i.e., "Unless she comes without an invitation, she is not likely to cross _this_ threshold again." * * * * * INCOMPREHENSIBLE!--At the dinner given by the LORD MAYOR, a few days since, to the representatives of Art and Literature of all nations, a linguist, who is believed to understand seventeen languages, made a speech in the eighteenth! * * * * * [Illustration: OUR COMPATRIOTS ABROAD. SCENE--_A Table d'hôte._ _Aristocratic English Lady_ (_full of diplomatic relations_). "A--CAN YOU TELL ME IF THERE IS A RESIDENT BRITISH MINISTER HERE?" _Scotch Tourist_. "WELL, I'M NOT JUST QUITE SURE--BUT I'M TOLD THERE'S AN EXCELLENT PRESBYTERIAN SERVICE EVERY SUNDAY!"] * * * * * A FAMILY QUESTION. A SONG FOR THE SITUATION. AIR--"_THE CHESAPEAKE AND THE SHANNON_." MCKINLEY, brave and bold, as the universe is told, Brought forth his Tariff Bill so neat and handy, O! And true patriots, everyone thought the business splendid fun, With their music playing Yankee-doodle dandy, O! Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy. O! The patriots came running, and admired MCKINLEY's cunning, In the interests of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!