"TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR!"--Professor JOHN TYNDALL wrote to T.W. RUSSELL last week commencing:--"Here, in the Alps, at the height of more than 7,000 feet above the sea, have I read your letter to the _Times_ on 'the War in Tipperary.'" Prodigious! "7,000 feet" up in the air. "How's that for high?" as the Americans say. How misty his views must be in this cloudland--and that the Professor's writing should be above the heads of the people, goes without saying. * * * * * [Illustration] FEMALE ATHLETICISM.--If Ladies go in for "the gloves," not as formerly by the coward's blow on the lips of a sleeping victim--often uncommonly wide-awake--the noble art of self-defence can be taught under the head of "Millin-ery." * * * * * "CHANGE OF AIR--WANTED," by a party much broken up, a new tune to replace the "_Boulanger March_!" If the new tune cannot be found, we can at least suggest a change of title for the old one. So, instead of "_En revenant de la Revue_," let it be "_En rêvant à la Revue_." It should commence brilliantly, then intermediate variations, in which sharps and flats would play a considerable part, and, finally, after a chromatic scale, down not up, of accidentals, it should finish in the minor _rallentando diminuendo_, and end like the comic overture (whose we forget--HAYDN'S?), where all the performers sneak off, and the conductor is left alone in his glory. * * * * * The British Fire Brigade representatives took with them a dog, to be presented to President CARNOT. Why only one dog? Two fire-dogs are to be found on the hearth of every old French Château. Why only half do it? * * * * * [Illustration: ADDING INSULT TO INJURY. _Brown_ (_whose prize St. Bernard has just snatched a fillet of Veal from a Butcher's slab_). "HI! COME AND TAKE YOUR CONFOUNDED MEAT AWAY FROM HIM! _HE'S EATING THE SKEWERS!_"] * * * * * "DEATH AND HIS BROTHER SLEEP." _QUEEN MAB_. [Major MARINDIN, in his Report to the Board of Trade on the railway collision at Eastleigh, attributes it to the engine-driver and stoker having "failed to keep a proper look-out." His opinion is, that both men were "asleep, or nearly so," owing to having been on duty for sixteen hours and a-half. "He expresses himself in very strong terms on the great danger to the public of working engine-drivers and firemen for too great a number of hours."--_Daily Chronicle_.] _Who_ is in charge of the clattering train? The axles creak, and the couplings strain. Ten minutes behind at the Junction. Yes! And we're twenty now to the bad--no less! We must make it up on our flight to town. Clatter and crash! That's the last train down, Flashing by with a steamy trail. Pile on the fuel! We must not fail. At every mile we a minute must gain! _Who_ is in charge of the clattering train?