_His Irreverence_. "THEN COMMENCE AT 7:30, AND I'LL BE THERE AT 7:45!"] * * * * * FAVOURITE TOOL OF RAILWAY COMPANIES.--A Screw-Driver! * * * * * [Illustration: "C'EST MAGNIFIQUE! MAIS--" _Mr. Bull_ (_Paymaster_). "WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?" _Mr. Punch_ (_Umpire-in Chief_). "FINE RIDER--FINE HORSE! BUT--AS A CAVALRY SOLDIER--HAS TO LEARN HIS BUSINESS!"] ["How then about the British Cavalry of September, 1890? A spectator who has taken part in modern regular war, and has watched the manoeuvres, said one day to me when I accosted him, in an apologetic tone, 'I have hitherto done your Army injustice, I will not do so again; I had no idea how well your officers and your troopers ride,--they are very fine horsemen.' There he stopped; I waited for more, but he had ended; his silence was a crushing criticism, unintentionally too severe, but very true.... I assert, therefore, that at this moment, our Cavalry is inefficient, and not prepared for war."--_The Times Military Correspondent_.] AIR--"_TALLY-HO!_" (_FROM THE BALLIOL SONG-BOOK._) "Of all the recreations with which mortal man is blest" (Says BALLIOL's Song) "fox-hunting still is pleasantest and best." A Briton in the saddle is a picture, and our pride, In scarlet or in uniform at least our lads can _ride_. Away, away they go, With a tally, tally-ho! With a tally, tally, tally, tally, tally, tally-ho! But riding, for our Cavalry, is, after all, not all. To lead the field, to leap a fence, to bravely face a fall, Are well enough. And first-rate stuff from the hunting-field may come, But something more is wanted when Bellona beats her drum, And calls our lads to go, With a rally, rally-ho! &c. Good men and rattling horses are not all that England needs; She wants sound knowledge in the men, and training in the steeds. Scouting and reconnaissance are not needed for the fox, Nor "leading in big masses" for the furious final shocks, When away the troopers go, With a rally, rally, ho! &c. But when a squadron charges on the real field of war, Courage and a good seat alone will not go very far; Our lads must "know their business," and their officers must "lead," Not with cross-country dash alone, but skill and prudent heed, When away the troopers go, With a rally, rally, ho! &c. War's field will test the Cavalry, or clad in blue or red; In all things they must "thorough" be, as well as thorough-bred. "Heavy" or "light," they'll have to _fight_; not such mad, headlong fray, As marked for fame with pride--and shame--that Balaklava day, When away our lads did go, With a rally, rally, ho! &c.