_The Com._ Surely, Doctor, the title you have secured by scientific attainments, takes precedence of all others more easily obtained? _Med. Off._ Possibly, in a College common-room, but not at a mess-table of a _dépôt_ centre. That I express the general opinion of members of my profession is proved by the fact that it is shared by Sir ANDREW CLARK, the President of the Royal College of Physicians. _The Com._ Well, what would you propose? _Med. Off._ That we should be put on the same footing so far as rank is concerned, with officers in the Commissariat and other non-actively-combatant branches of the Army. We are merely fighting the fight fought years ago by another scientific corps, the Royal Engineers. _The Com._ But surely, Doctor, the officers you have mentioned know something of their drill? _Med. Off._ If that is the difficulty, let us make ourselves equally proficient. The more we are in touch with the so-called combatant officers the better. _The Com._ Well, certainly, if you are good drills (and have some knowledge of the internal economy of a regiment, and the rudiments of military law) I cannot see why you should not enjoy the rank to which you aspire. I wish you every success in your application. After all, you are masters of the situation. If your superior officers are unreasonable--physic them! [_The Witness after returning thanks, then withdrew._ * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES. AT A COUNTRY HOUSE. "_So glad you have a fine day for your garden-party. Was quite anxious about the weather;_" i.e., "Hoped sincerely it would rain hard--hate garden-parties--can't think why I'm here." "_How good of you to undertake such a long drive!_" i.e., "hoped it would choke her off." "_So sweet of you to have brought your dear children;_" i.e., "Greedy little pigs!--gobble up everything before the real guests arrive." "_Must you_ really _go?_" i.e., "About time--you're the last but one." "_Now mind--this is Liberty Hall--I always think true hospitality is, letting people do just what they like;_" i.e., "_If_ he's late for breakfast--and IF he shirks driving with Mrs. MORSON!" "_We lunch at half-past one. But don't trouble to be punctual. Quite a moveable feast;_" i.e., "If he's unpunctual, he won't forget it." "_Such a lovely drive I want to take you this afternoon;_" i.e., "_Must_ pay that call to-day." "_Going to-morrow? Oh_, do _stay--we had looked forward to quite a week more._ Can't _you alter it?_" i.e., "Quite safe. Know he's _got_ to go." "_Such a sweet girl to have in the house!_" i.e., "Slaves for her from morning till night." * * * * * [Illustration: A SEASIDE REGATTA.] * * * * * [Illustration: HAPPY THOUGHT.--DAVID COX REDIVIVUS!] * * * * * ALL THE YEAR ROUND; _OR, KEEPING UP THE BALL._