Mr. RODENT (Senior) was called upon to preside. He took the hillock amid waving of tails and much enthusiasm, and remarked that he trusted that that vast assembly, one of the most magnificent demonstrations that even Hyde Park had ever known, would show by its orderly behaviour, that Rats knew how to conduct business. (_Cheers._) They lived in strange times. A barbarous suggestion had been made to evict them--to turn them out of house and home, by means of what he might call Emergency Ferrets. (_Groans, and cries of "Boycott them!"_) He feared that boycotting a ferret would not do much good. (_A squeak--"Why not try rattening?"--and laughter._) Arbitration seemed to him the most politic course under the circumstances. (_Cheers._) They were accused of eating young moor-chicks. Well, was a Rat to starve? ("_No, no!_") Did not a Rat owe a duty to those dependent upon it? (_Cheers, and cries of "Yes!"_) He appealed to the opinion of the civilised world to put a stop--At this point in the Chair-rat's address, an alarm of "Dogs!" was raised, and the meeting at once dispersed in some confusion. * * * * * THE JOURNALIST-AT-ARMS. Who would not be a Journalist-at-Arms? Life for that paladin hath poignant charms. Whether in pretty quarrel he shall run Just half an inch of rapier--in pure fun-- In his opponent's biceps, or shall flick His shoulders with a slender walking-stick. The "stern joy" of the man indeed must rise To raptures and heroic ecstacies. Oh, glorious climax of a vulgar squabble, To redden your foe's nose, or make him hobble For half a week or so, as though, perchance, He'd strained an ancle in a leap or dance! Feeble sword-play or futile fisticuffs Might be disdained by warriors--or roughs; But to the squabbling scribe the farce has charms. Who would not be a Journalist-at-Arms? * * * * * "WANTED!"