"Think, children, of Ac-cu-mu-la-tive Con-sols! Much better than bull's eyes, and peg-tops, and dolls! Yes, this is the notion, exceedingly knowin', Which GOSCHEN, the Chancellor, borrows from COHEN, Which nobody can deny! "To the Nation friend COHEN's idea's a great gift; It should lend such a "vigorous impulse to thrift;" Leave your coin in my Stocking--in time it will double, Without giving you, what a Briton hates, Trouble! Which nobody can deny! "Then think of the saving in potions and pills, And the fall in that _very_ bad stock--Doctor's Bills-- When your Dividends no longer spoil girls and boys With per-ni-ci-ous sweets, and with re-dun-dant toys, Which nobody can deny! "So, dear Little Investors, I trust you'll come flocking, Like bees to the hive, to my last style of Stocking, My new, automatic, self-mending, smart hose, In which cash, left alone, gathers fast as it goes, Which nobody can deny!" * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH. _Inquisitive and Motherly Old Stranger_ (_deliberately settling herself down between Our Artist and what he is trying to sketch_). "I SUPPOSE YOU OFTEN FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO GET NEW SUBJECTS, DON'T YOU? I HEARD A THING THE OTHER DAY--," &C., &C., &C.] * * * * * ANOTHER VICTIM. [The Emperor of AUSTRIA will leave Voecklabruck on September 2 to attend the Army manoeuvres in Silesia. On the 17th he will go to attend the manoeuvres in Prussian Silesia, and will be the German EMPEROR's guest at Schloss Kohnstook, near Liegnitz.--_Times_.] _Imperial Victim sings:_-- "Here awa', there awa', wandering WILLIE." O WILHELM, my lad, _you_ might well sing that song. This stir's getting troublesome, not to say silly, Our "Travelling EMPEROR"'s coming it strong. This playing at Soldiers, is't never to cease? There's no rest but the grave for the Pilgrim of--Peace! _Sub tegmine fagi_, in holiday Autumn, E'en Emperors sometimes incline to take ease, But when once _he_ has dropped in upon 'em, and caught 'em, The Tityrus _rôle_ is all up. 'Tis a tease. I was just settling down to my pipe and my bock, When he bursts in like this! Gives a man quite a shock! He has stirred them up pretty well all round already. Good Grandmother GUELPH! Well, with her, 'twas just "come and off!" (A true British "Summer" the wildest will steady), And then he drops in upon tired Cousin ROMANOFF. Ha! ha! How the CZAR must have laughed--in his sleeve-- At that "capture," which WILHELM could scarcely believe! Taken prisoner, the "Travelling EMPEROR!" Funny! Oh, could they have kept him till Autumn was o'er! No such luck! I must stir up, and spend time, and money, In playing the old game of Soldiers! Great bore! Ah, my youthful, alert, irrepressible KAISER, When just a bit older you'll be a bit wiser.